Here's Looking At You, Kid

Since time is the one immaterial object which we cannot influence--neither speed up nor slow down, add to nor diminish--it is an imponderably valuable gift. -Maya Angelou

Looking back on this year, so much has happened. Big moments. Small moments. The gamut of feeling. The ocean of experience. Like the waves that erode the rock, I have been chiseled by this year. Bit by bit, emerging more myself than ever before.

2005 was not my greatest year for love. Mr. Grass started off as a hot flame but quickly burnt out, much like his beloved joints. Lesson learned? Steer clear of potheads. Mr. Disappointment sparked my interest but after three fabulous dates, he disappeared. . . Only to reappear a couple months later with a confession. He had slept with his ex before meeting me and well, let's put it this way- he will be a dad (a great one at that) come February. Lesson learned? Sometimes smart people make dumb moves. Then there was The Guider. He is a Guider. Enough said. Lesson learned? Next! Oh and the Irishman who didn't take "Fuck Off" for an answer. Lesson learned? No more international affairs. Then there was a handful of dates really not worth mentioning. Lesson learned? Stay away from internet dating. Seems I am back on the Love Sabbatical but it's ok. It suits me for now. My psychic powers, (ok, wishful thinking powers) have me believing that 2006 will be THE year for love.

2005 was a challenging year at work. Like I need to remind you of that, right? January started off with a huge lay off that turned into a controversial mess. A year later, we are not 100% recovered. Then there was my surprise suspension. Three days paid to sit at home torturing myself over lies. And then to have the damn thing swiped clean from my record like it never happened. It shouldn't have ever happened that way. It still haunts me. And the recent turmoil at work. My PTSD from all this shit. 2006 can ONLY get better where work is concerned. My horoscope even tells me so!

I can't even comprehend how the hundreds of little moments have shaped me. New Year's in Seattle with Hillz and Supple. Book Club meetings with my old pals. Birthday celebrations. Concerts. Forgiveness class. Furry new addtions to the family. Completing the Wharf to Wharf. Weddings. Throwing parties. Coordinating events. Grown up purchases. Loss. Laughing. Remembering. Crying. Delving. Living. Loving.

I leave 2005 knowing that even if the going gets rough, there is always the choice to be the tree. To reach out to one of my many fantastic friends. To go deep. And, well, to blog.

Thanks for being a part of my year. You have touched my life and that, my dear ones, has made all the difference.

Cheers!