Minus the Minutia

Before I say anything about my weekend, I must first proclaim: HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOMATO! I'm so glad you were born and you are my friend and I get to love you. :)

It'd bore you if I told you all the minutia of the past weekend so here it is in snipets:

- There really is no such thing as a jackalope. Tricksters!

- My distaste for country music remains steadfast.

- Some people should not be allowed to speak in public.

- I don't cry at all weddings.

- Small town folk lack imagination when it comes to naming and advertising their businesses. Take for example: Carpet Mart or Juice Because or the sign shop with the catch phrase, "We'll sign anything!" (I realize this is a total generalization. Please don't send me hate mail.)

- Being intoxicated can really improve your mood from bored and disinterested to lively and engaged. (Plus, it encourages drunken photography. Em will definitely know which camera was at our table with all the boob shots.)

- Some recently wed brides do not enjoy having their college roommate tell everyone in a toast about her penchant for nudity, margaritas and smoking doobies back in her wild days. (The audience sure did eat it up though! Had a couple of people seek me out to tell me how much they enjoyed my toast.)

- Cows have to be pregnant or have recently given birth to be producing milk. (Why did I not think about this before? Those poor cows are constantly knocked up! Makes me want to drink more soy.)

- Walking for 15 minutes in 86 degree heat, in flip flops, in a skirt and fearing you will be late to the wedding so you are booking it almost double time does set one up for some serious chub rub and a shiny glow upon arrival to said festivities.

- Tulle should not be over-used. Ever.

- Life IS about who you love.

- Some people should not be allowed to dress themselves. Period.

- Traffic is not fun. But having giggling fits in the backseat sure is.

- It should be against the law to make mattresses so f***ing uncomfortable and pillows so flat.

- Batman Begins was a-w-e-s-o-m-e.

- My sis and bro-in-law make everything more fun when they are around.

- Forming a conga line at a wedding is tantamount to singing Free Bird at a concert. No, no, no.