Friday, December 29, 2006

A Year In Review: 2006

Post-Mexico trip, I returned fatigued and without luggage barely arriving to Supple's house in time to toast in the new year. From there it was planning, planning, planning for the Big Move. All the little moments that led up to my final good-bye in June- the lunches, the intimate tea talks, the frolics on the beach, the American Idol nights, the laughter, the tears, the tearful laughter. Saying good-bye to Santa Cruz and hello to Seattle- it's the biggest move, internally and externally, I've ever made in my life.

And it was totally the right decision.

Work sucked for the most part. Things at the organization I had dedicated 4 years to were falling apart and I had a lot of pressure on my shoulders. Co-workers were telling me I should apply to be the Executive Director. I was flattered but knew I wasn't ready for such a daunting task. That job, for as much pain as it caused me, helped me grow like no other job. And the friendships I made there are lasting, true and dear to me. Now, after 15 interviews and 4 job offers, I feel like I can finally breathe a big sigh of relief. My new job is just what I need it to be.

My love life was basically non-existent except for psuedo-dating my darling Dumpling and the pining for an ex that is taken. Arriving in Seattle, I met a couple of fellas but none that were swoon worthy. None that made me light up. And I want to light up. I want to feel special. Finally, slowly, I am figuring out what I am worth and standing up for it. It feels scary but really fucking good too. The further I delve into my feelings about my relationship with my father, the more centered I get. It's part of the journey I can't skip over.

My sister and brother-in-law announced their pregnancy as 2005 drew to a close. This changed everything. The prospect of new life colored the way I operated in the world and made moving to Seattle a necessity, no longer a fanciful idea. I knew there was nowhere else to be but near my family. Being present at the birth of my nephew was life changing for me- to watch my little sis become a mother, to hold her hand as she beared down, to see Griffin tumble into this world amongst a circle of love and trust- that was LIFE right there. The best part of life. And every day I am grateful to be close and to watch him grow up.

So, 2006 was a year of transition. The first half dedicated to readying myself for the move, the second half focused on finding work, home and making a new life for myself. For a girl who lived amongst the comforts and confines of a pretty little life, I am definitely looking at the world in a new way. I'm trying to open myself up to possibility, to trusting that even though it's mostly out of my control it is going to be okay, to having faith- mostly in myself. Life just keeps getting better and better. . .

9 comments:

alissa said...

Wow - crazy how when you condense a year of your life into one post, you really gain perspective isn't it? Go you! 2007 is going to be full of joy and blessings for you.

diane said...

Little butterflies inside for you. I moved to Chicago from Ohio in 2000, leaving a boyfriend and job behind with nothing here but my roommate and a couple o' friends. Chicago has been good to me, and what many viewed as the stupidest thing I've ever done quickly became the greatest thing I've ever done. Two weeks in I had a job here and seven years later, I still love Chicago and life in it.
So great wishes in the new year for you and life in Seattle!!

asp said...

What a wonderful post Sizzle. Thanks for sharing that. You sound so grown up and mature and finally coming into "your own" ... Nice to read something postive and upbeat for a change. Happy New Year.

kapgar said...

I'm glad everything is working out in the end. You should be proud you came through it so well.

g-man said...

As a new reader I'm thankful for the overview. I look forward to hearing more about yourself, you sound like you are moving in the right direction.

Egan said...

Your second to last paragraph is so touching, I got a bit weapy. Thanks for the recap and thanks for enjoying for all it is. Best wishes in 2007.

Alison said...

Great post, Siz.

Egan said...

Thanks for enjoying Seattle for all it is. (I have a bad habit of leaving out words)

Bone said...

What a wonderful recap, Auntie Sizzle :)

I wish you happiness for 2007 and beyond.