Wednesday, April 05, 2006

. . .

Speaking of rain, I am moving.

To Seattle.

This July.

Yes. I mean it. I am not kidding.

I have totally been holding back from writing about it for a myriad of reasons. I wanted to make sure people in my day to day life who might read this were told in person first. I wanted to prolong the inevitability of the move a little while longer. I wanted to pretend for just a few more weeks that life as I have known it is the same. But it isn't. It hasn't been. Everything is changing and I have been pretty torn up about it.

I have never lived outside of California. Hell, growing up the only move we did was ACROSS the street. Literally. I lived on the same street until I was 21 and then I moved thirty minutes away for college. Which, in and of itself is moving, technically speaking but not really. I have lived in Santa Cruz for twelve years. Deciding to move to a whole different state thousands of miles away from everything I have ever known is huge for me. It is ginormous.

Yeah. I am kinda freaking out.

I had to tell you because not writing about it is killing me. I need to talk about it! My friends, bless their breaking hearts, have been really supportive even though I know they are sad. There is a lot of kinda talking about it but no real in depth talking about it. I have a lot of decisions to make and am cognizant of the fact that these decisions effect more than just me. It effects work, family, friends, everything really.

I haven't made this decision on a whim. It has been a long time coming. It's partly because Seattle has always been a place I have pictured myself living from my very first visit. It's partly because my little sister is giving birth to my nephew come August and she and her husband live there. It's partly because my BFF lives there and being near her does my heart good. Factor in the reality that Santa Cruz has no career possibilities for me, that the cost of living here is outrageous, that I have only dated one worthy man in this damn town in my twelve years here, then add in that my current life goals include wanting to be a mom, a home owner and financially stable and. . .well, you understand. Right? I can't stay here solely for my wonderful friends. I can't continue to feel stagnant.

So I am going. And I am scared. And excited. And 100% sure and sad and worried and sentimental and emotional. You get the picture. I've got a lot going on. I hope you can help me figure it out. I hope I don't fall apart.

Please don't let me fall apart. . .


anne said...

That is so exciting!! : )

I totally know how scary it can be and how many things can freak you out and make you stressed. But you will love it and it will be such a great adventure!

Solonor Rasreth said...

Deep. Cleansing. Breaths.

And gin. Lotsa gin.

alissa said...

You won't fall apart, no one will let you. I'm so happy for you! Starting over, fresh. How amazing is that? You have your whole world opened up ahead of you. Will it be hard? Of course. But anything worth anything usually is.

Congrats Sizz!

Bre said...

That is very exciting! I know how you feel, gearing up for this. When I graduated college, I took a job in North Carolina and all anyone could talk about was how very far away that was. Then one of my friends heard and became my biggest cheerleader, her words helped me so very much, so I'll pass them along:

Good for you! This is a great opportunity to have all of the things that you want to have! You're doing what is right for you and that's what is the most important! Your friends will love you no matter where they are!! It's ok to be sad, but it's also ok to get excited about all the new opportunities available to you!

gronce said...

Oh, I love Seattle!!!!!!!!

You are not allowed to fall apart.

I am SO excited for you! I envy you.You're going to feel like you're on vacation every day because it will all be new!

Did I say that I love Seattle?

Did I say that I admire your courage? I admire your courage.


Mrs. Ca said...

I am so happy for you! It sounds like a change could really do you good and being so close to your sister and your friend will be wonderful I'm sure. I know it was probably a hard decision to make, but change is good. I can't wait to hear more about it. (Also I am kind of jealous because I love Seattle, but my husband is bound and determined to live in Michigan for ever and ever, Amen.)

Gary said...

Don't worry about a thing. The bluest skies I've ever seen are in Seattle. In Seattle.

Dave2 said...

Admit it. You are totally moving to Seattle to be closer to me.

What I really want to know is if your blog title will change to reflect the move. "Ms. Sizzle in Seattle" has a nice ring to it. :-)

ocg said...

I promise I won't let you fall apart. When you get there, I will be a mere four hours away. You will *love* the PnW... we are good people.

You will love it, and change does the body good.

jeopardygirl said...

Hey, Sizz. Congrats on the decision to move, and GOOD LUCK. I agree with Dave2, "Miss Sizz in Seattle" sounds like a great blog name.

Kevin said...

Hey, you know it's going to be a good thing. You've already detailed why. And it's not as though you're going to be all that far away from SC. It's still relatively close. Not as though you're moving to the East Coast or anything.

Enjoy the new opportunities. Seattle should be a blast. And I'll come see you when Katie and I make our way to the great Northwest sometime soon (we still dunno when, exactly).

Why did I know Dave was going to say something like that?

whoorl said...

Do NOT be scared! Coming from a girl who has lived in 5 states in the past 10 years, I can't imagine spending my entire life in one state or place. There is so much to experience out there.

It's EXHILARATING! And you'll love Seattle!

Mikey said...

Ok, your not allow to fall apart. I want to know if I can from missing you?

sandra said...

Sizz, if I was anywhere near you, I'd totally give you a hug. As someone who's made a few big moves since college -- but has been completely attached to every place I've lived -- I totally understand what you're going through. Deep down, you know that you're doing the right thing, but it's terrifying. You're probably feeling nostalgic about a place you're still living and really looking forward to the move and change...but terrified that it won't be as amazing as you think. You know what, though? It will be, because you're fabulous and you'll make it great. One of my favorite things about moving? It is an AMAZING confidence-builder. You get to take all the wonderful things about yourself with you and leave the other crap behind -- it's kind of freeing.

Plus, you'll be closer to Dave.

Gary LaPointe said...

Every thing will be fine and it'll all work out. :)
You'll still Sizzle wherever you are!!!

Good luck!

Melissa said...

I am so proud of you. I admire the strength and courage you have. I do not blame you at all for wanting to be near your sister right now, she's going to need you. I am so lucky to know you and hear about this new adventure of yours. You will find the perfect place to call home, Seattle is just waiting for your talents, they need you.

Just one word to the wise, go to the doctor, dentist and opthamologist while you've got your benefits, as most new gigs take at least 30 days (sometimes more) for benefits to kick in.

Did I tell you how amazing you are yet? So very, very proud of you, Sizz.

Jules said...

Of all the people who might fall apart - you are the least likely to do so.

And I can't help but wonder, why it is that everyfreakinbody from Santa Cruz ends up in Seattle?

Should I start packing too?

Amanda said...

Sizz..I'm happy for you! You are stronger than you give yourself credit! Enjoy it and realize your friends will remain so even with the move! You have my support!

Tam said...

I've been reading your blog for a few months. Congratulations on the big move! Sometimes, a change sets us on the right path.

Anonymous said...

remember that part in madagascar when the penguins hijacked the ship because they wanted to go to antarctica and when they got there they looked around for a few moments at the ice and the gusts of snow...then the head penguin said "well, this sucks"...?

that was funny.

Bob Merrick said...

To Santa Cruz from the Sizzle...

Just this morning
I took a big long look around
I've lived it up and loved it up
And done it in this town
Life goes on
Look like it's time
For moving on

Good-bye, baby
I wanna thank you for the ride
We did a dance and took a chance
Nothing we ain't tried
C'est la vie
Time, you and me
Moving on

I'm moving on
I'll see you somewhere down the line
I'm moving on
We're looking good and feeling fine
I'm moving on
And you are yours and I'm mine
I'll see you somewhere in my dreams
I'm moving on
So thanks for all the memories
I'm moving on
And you can call me Mrs. Breeze
I'm moving on
Life is full of mysteries
Nothing is ever what it seems

Might try Vegas
And keep on playing till I win
Or take it out to Seattle
And fall in love again
Come what may
Night and day
I'm moving on

I'm moving on

I'm moving on
I'll see you somewhere down the line
I'm moving on
We're looking good and feeling fine
I'm moving on
And you are yours and I'm mine
I'll see you somewhere in my dreams
I'm moving on
So thanks for all the memories
I'm moving on
And you can call me Mrs. Breeze
I'm moving on
Life is full of mysteries
Nothing is ever what it seems

Bob Merrick said...

Congratulations... you finally did it. Making that announcement makes it real. I know from experience. The first two months after I made the decision to move to LA, I had done it in my mind, but my heart was still leary. I would "discuss" it with people, but not actually commit to a time and date. Then once I said, "I am moving to LA at the end of August", it was a done deal.
The party preparations came, the job search, the reality. I knew there was no turning back because i had made the announcement and now look at me!

The most sound advice I can give you is the following:
It is so EASY to come back to where you are right now, should for any reason Seattle not work out. And although that seems like a stupid simple statement, there is a lot of weight in it, because part of what holds you back is the fear of the unknown of what your life will be like and if you will fail in Seattle. The good news is, you can go to Seattle and know that it is okay to fail, because you can always go back to Santa Cruz. And when you have that "I don't care if I fail" attitude, you can't help but succeed. And with me in your corner, I know you will always be the best you can absollutely be, because I will NEVER let you fail! xox

Lizzie said...

I am so excited for you! It takes a lot of courage to do what you're doing. Good on ya! (You'll be keeping the blog up, right? We'll all make the move with you... virtually, of course.)

jenny said...

That's so cool! I've only been to Seattle once, but also completely fell in love with it. The only reason I wouldn't move there is that it's so freaking far from the rest of the people who are important to me. But if all your friends/family are already left coast, I say go for it!

How exciting! A body in motion stays in motion - I firmly believe that change is a good thing. Congrats!

Sizzle said...

you are all so wonderful! thanks for the words of encouragement. it means so much to me. really.

:) sizz

Neil said...

I'm so excited for you. Great idea! Sure, you're nervous. Who wouldn't be? Remember to buy an umbrella.

Rabbit said...

It sounds like you've already got a support system in Seattle that won't let you doubt your decision for one moment. I'm sure that once you get there you won't be able to say enough about how RIGHT the choice is for you.

Jacynth said...

Girl, you're gonna rock Seattle. I have tons of connections up there, so let me know if you want me to hook you up with some fun peeps to hang with. Change is good, Seattle is lucky to have you!

Nihilistic said...

I haven't stayed in one place for longer than two years since I was 20. I know the feeling of seeing yourself somewhere - that's how I felt about SF! Change is one of the best parts of life! Getting to see, do and experience things you never would have if you didn't get out and do it! Promise to keep up the blog and I will be less sad!!

JustRun said...

That is some dang exciting news right there! As close to falling apart as you may be, I'm jealous of your adventure! Best of luck!

amy said...

Oh how very very exciting Siz. My sister/family lives in Poulsbo (a short ferry trip from Seattle). It'd be cool to meet you sometime in the future on the wharf for coffee and giggles next time I go visit her which prob will be autumn 2007!!! So please keep in touch!!! Change is good!!!! I have no idea where I will be moving to once my house is up for sale but thru tears and amazing support from my mom/friends....I along with YOU will be okay :) Peace.

Kerry said...

oooohhhh! congrats on the move! I should hook you up with my blogger buddy, Egan. Unless you already know him... he gets around ;)

Claire said...

That sounds great. It's not even a thousand miles, so don't worry. You could make the drive in one long day if you had too (which probably means flights to SF aren't that bad pricewise).

Your reasons for leaving are sound, and you've got support once you get there, so I'm sure you'll do great there.

Lushy said...

You are going to be so excited that there will be no falling apart. Besides, you have too many people who love you who can keep you together!

Congrats on the decision. It really is the hardest part!

Anthony S. said...

Geez, you're popular. I have to stick my two cents in:

glad you said what was on your mind. Good luck, and enjoy yourself, and go with every new friend's blessing.

Bill said...

Seafood to die for. Oysters from all along the west coast, including B.C.

What's not to move for?

When I moved (quite, quite a while ago) I crossed several time zones and roughly 1765 miles. I spent the first week living in the YMCA (good grief!). I didn't know a single soul. And after all this time, I still think it's the best thing I've ever done.

I think there are two kinds of people who make moves: the ones who whine endlessly about how much better everything was where they came from and the ones who can't get enough of the adventure of new things, new people, new ideas.

If you're the latter, it will be absolutely fabulous. (And if you're the first kind, do everyone a favour and stay where you are.)

(That's not meant meanly ... I'm serious. If you see it as an adventure, it will be great even though you'll occasionally miss people and places. But that's what planes and buses and phones and e-mail are for.)

Bill said...

And in case there was confusion there ... I'm not in Seattle. I moved from Ottawa, Ontario to Edmonton, Alberta. Ain't no ocean even close to me. But I love Seattle.

GirlGoyle said...

You'll do just fine! I have moved almost all my life. My last move entailed crossing an ocean and landing on a whole different continent. Worlds apart literally and culturally. And to add injury I didn't know a soul in the place I was going. You have people who are expecting you and will give you the support you need for an easy and quick transition. Though...if you don't like rain...could you not have picked a less prone to constant showers?

sue said...

Oooo...honey... {{{hugs}}}} it's gonna be alright. If not, you can move back! LOL! We'll all be cheering for you. You deserve all the good stuff you can get.

Rosie said...

Woohhooo! Do it while you're footloose and fancy freeeeeee!

The move will make you grow in so many ways.

And I'll echo the sentiment place is forever, you can always move back. Or to Colorado....we have over 300 days of sunshine a year!

Mr_Rodacre said...

You know the best adventure I ever had was moving from home and parents in Riverside, CA aaaaaalllllllll the way up to Eureka, CA. I knew ONE person who was in no position to help me out. I had to get a job without having a place to live and a place to live without having a job. And then I had to think about school.

And you know what? IT WAS AWESOME!

And when I was ready (and the fates gave me a nudge) my next move was here to Santa Cruz, which ultimately led me to you. So you see? Moving is a good thing. You meet people you never knew existed and learn to love them and wonder how you ever got along without them...

You will be fine. Enjoy the adventure. And keep a sofa free for me...

Dan said...

Ah, Seattle is great. Wish I were still there. Been thinking about it lately... how, I was actually kinda happy there. Haven't had that feeling in a long long while. Sigh. Happy. What's that like?

Krisco said...

WOW!!!!! I totally missed this post. Man, miss a day (and a few random comments here and there) and you MISS OUT. (It's not just you. It's me. I've been out of the blog world, cogitating on my supposed actual life, of late...)

Congratulations!!! That is an awesome decision! You seem like you are at a place to make a change in your life, and good for you to stand up and do it. Wow!!

We will be with you all the way. I will hang on every word. I'll be rooting for you! You will find a great place to live and a good job and additional friends and be closer to family and, wow. It will be monumental and great.

Good for you!