Tuesday, November 14, 2006

Dreams Are Very Telling

I went to lunch with my boss on Saturday. She's my supervisor's boss so she is technically my boss. She said to me, "I want to hang out with you outside of work. I hope that isn't weird? You've got a New York sensibility about you that I like. I want to be friends." Um, how can I not like that? She's funny and blunt and I enjoy her company.

But then last night I had a very long and drawn out dream where I was "let go" from my current job quite unexpectedly and given no reason for it except to be told, "We are reorganizing the department." My boss, the one who is wants to be my friend, was cold and aloof in the dream. I asked everyone why. Why!? I do a good job. I don't deserve this! I was angry and confused and devastated. I finally got my supervisor to tell me that someone at the High Tea (a fundraising event we had this past weekend) had complained about me. Apparently when I had complimented the complainer about her vintage hat saying, "Ohhh, that looks GOOD on you." I had crossed some invisible line to this snobby, rich woman with poor taste. She was apparently a very big donor and we can't have a donor upset.

So they fired me.

And I had to leave all myunfinished work, pack up my stuff, hand over my keys and leave- immediately. I woke up in a panic, feeling all those old anxious feelings, feeling betrayed by my boss who said she wanted to be my friend. It was all too familiar.

I guess I haven't completely gotten over how my former boss who was also my friend betrayed me. We never made amends. He quit in a shitstorm of staff unionizing like the coward that he is and I left to a huge party of well wishers who were crying as they said their good-byes to me six months later. Take THAT stupid betraying bossman. Ha!

Ok, it isn't a contest. Sorry for the gloat.

But regardless, I think I might need to work on forgiving former bossman for his wrong doings and the hurt that lies between us. At least within myself. PTSD is no fun.

13 comments:

Mrs. Ca said...

It sounds like the previous situation would be something that would definitely be hard to get over. But, it's always nice to have new friends, and this lady sounds like she's worth a chance.

Bone said...

Last night, I dreamed I was coaching a youth basketball team. And we were losing by twenty points at halftime. I came into the locker room and started cursing.

We had like six or seven players on the team during the game. But when I got into the locker room, there were only three players there.

alissa said...

It's hard once you've been burned, not to expect that again. But one of your many fabulous qualities is seeing the good in people, don't transfer your feelings from him to her. She seems genuine and sweet.

Bre said...

It isn't a contest, you're right. But it is ok to feel a bit gloat-y especially considering your history with him.

Learning to trust again is possibly the hardest lesson anyone will ever have to learn. I've been working on it for too long! Baby steps, Sizz! :)

JustRun said...

If something is preventing you from having another friendship at 100% or you're losing sleep over it then yes, forgiveness can be helpful but you know what, moving on can be just as freeing and there's no need to "protect" a wrong doer with forgiveness. I am sure that seems harsh but I think it's true. If someone did us wrong, it is NOT wrong to say so. It is not wrong to dislike them and it is not wrong to tell others why you dislike them. No, you can't go around defaming but you don't have to protect them, either.

I think the new lady sounds like she's worth being friends with. That said, I am always a little extra cautious with work friends, especially at first.

Becky said...

I usually don't take such descriptive dreams lightly either. Work is tough one in terms of whether or not to hang out after hours. Even with some of my co-workers, while we don't report to each other, there's an accountability and tension with our projects that can sometimes make it awkward. But still, being friends with might ensure that she sticks up for you;)

Dustin said...

I hate that supervisor/friend degree of seperation thingy since I usually just treat everyone like a compadre and then I'll do or say something and all of a sudden stop myself and be like "oh shizzle...was that it? Was that the one thing that just crossed the line and is going get me 'sacked'?" Stupid Seattle and it's notriously laid back work settings lulling me into hopefully not false senses of security. ::sigh::

Melissa said...

My dream the other night had me and George Clooney checking into a swank hotel... never had that dream before, but I really hope I get it again...

Jules said...

at least in the old-boss-related new-boss dream, your new boss wasn't firing you while wearing a leather harness and leather undies with a zipper up the front. i'm just sayin'

Dawn said...

Don't they say that dreams usually mean something totally different than they appear?

Who knows what your dream really represents?

But I'm typically cautious with work friends 'til they prove their trustworthiness.

Just don't spill any beans too soon.

BullysE said...

I personally didn't have much luck crossing the mgr/employee line. I dunno whether it was because of the hierarchy, or if because a male/female dynamic...but I relate to the fortitude it must've taken your boss to cross the line. I understand the needing to clarify things, so that you would know she meant her friendship in a Real way, not a Work-wringer way of handling you.
The way she approached you says that she wants to be direct, and honest--and I think that is great, if you like her BACK. If you don't, I think your dream shows you aren't quite on the same page as she is. You still worry about the hierarchy thing, and hierarchy has nothing to do with friendship.

You can still be friendly, and co-workers, but not Friends. If that feels more comfortable, just stick to that. It's win-win.

sandra said...

She seems cool, and as long as she respects the line between work and personal, you should be good...although that said, I guess some people don't do that.

kapgar said...

Oh feel free to gloat.