Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Somebody's Watching Me

The ad read. . .

Position: Cyber-Stalker
Payment: $20 Amazon bucks (or equivalent compensation)
Length of Engagement: eight hours (approximately 8 to 5 PST)
Date Needed: Flexible, but would prefer December 19th, 20th or 21st.
Details: In need of a creative gift for a favored co-worker, it occurred to me that a cyber-stalking might be just what he needed. Nothing tawdry or terrifying, but a bit-o-witty-banter with a mysterious admirer to make the workday pass a little quicker. If you're interested or have questions, please let me know ASAP.

My friend Jules is wicked clever. Leave it to her to come up with this scheme. This proposition smacked of Sizzle and so, of course, I offered my services.

My stalkee was a pleasant, intelligent fella who did a much better job stalking me than I did stalking him. (Hi Bradley if you are reading this!) Still, I had such an enjoyable time I'm waiving my fee. (You hear that Jules?) I'm thinking this could be an excellent side gig.

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Stalk me! Stalk me! :)

Anonymous said...

A paid stalker? I think thousands of high school freshman just got their Christmas miracle.

Mrs. Ca said...

That sounds like it was a lot of fun. It's such a creative gift, and now he has a great story to tell, to boot.

Anonymous said...

ha! I love it!

Anonymous said...

Heh. Luckily (?) I've had my share of real life stalkers, so I'd pass on this one.
But over the weekend, a friend recommended we start a "rent-a-dude" service--renting out guys to move furniture, carry packages, and get things off of high shelves. Brilliant, no? I think we could do a rent-a-chick, too, to handle shopping and wrapping birthday presents!

egan said...

When can I start?

Anonymous said...

I bet if you posted that to craigslist you'd get some truly fascinating resumes.

Nihilistic said...

I always feel like Somebody's watching me...and I got no privacy...woah oh woah