I Used To Live Here
It's just not the same.
Nothing ever stays the same. I know this. I am not disappointed. But being back in The Cruz, for as fun as it has been, isn't like being home. It feels small here. Because it is. I've grown accustomed to the city skyline, the urban hipsters, the green of the trees, my little apartment, my budding new life in Seattle.
Santa Cruz holds the me I am trying to outgrow. I don't want to forget her- she's been a good friend to me at times, a comfort and a safe haven. But the new experiences and challenges of my Seattle life are what I crave so I can become the newer version of me. It was good to come back here if only for that reminder- that I am on the right path and I made the best decision for myself. And that my friends are my friends no matter how far the distance. For that I am so incredibly grateful and blessed.
I don't belong in Santa Cruz anymore. And that feels downright liberating.
9 comments:
Well, then. There you go.
Now that's how far you've come. Here's to Seattle and an evolving Sizzle.
And there's that deep breath you've been waiting for.
Here's to the new you.
Going back always validates the notion that you had to go forward.
Sizz, you're so...growing!! I love it, and I'm glad your visit confirmed everything you were fairly sure you knew deep down.
I knew this would happen! And I'm glad for you!
and.... exhale.
I know what you're sahying, although someday things will change. Or not.
I've been away from The Cruz since 1993, and haven't missed it a bit. Not even the ocean. Being raised there, I took a lot of it for granted. I am considering a move back to be near family, and the last visit was awesome. I think in my case, what was needed was time to cleanse the bad memories of the last five years of my life spent there. I was done with it when I left. I may be ready to come home...
Glad you're diggin' Seattle though - also a very cool place.
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