Redemption

There was a room full of light and flowers, a feast spread upon the length of a table. There was music and laughter. Performances even. And so much love my heart had to break to let it all in. People singled me out to tell me how they feel, what I mean to them, how I have impacted their life. Where on earth is there a place where you can sit in a room of your respected peers and have them unabashedly shed tears as they say, "I admire you." Any doubt I had earlier in the week about having made a difference was squelched. I feel so full of joy at having known these wonderful people and worked alongside them. I could never thank them enough for being who they are to me. When I was asked to speak, I couldn't find the perfect words to convey what was in my heart. I don't even remember what I said. All I know is that I am going to miss them and every work experience from here on out will be measured against these last four years. Through all the good and bad, that agency changed me for the better.

This morning is my final breakfast with Bird. Bird is often my conscience, sometimes my wake up call and always the president of my fan club. Over the 8 years we have been friends, she has opened me up in ways I never thought possible. She's led the cheering squad when I needed encouragement and reminded me that life is good when you choose to look at it that way. She is a soul sister and nothing, especially not distance, will ever change that. I can't even begin to think of how much I am going to miss seeing her smiling face every week over eggs and toast and tea. She reminds me of who I want to be in the world and that is an invaluable gift.

I keep telling myself I am going to be okay. Because I am. And the tears are mixed with so much gratitude- how can I not be thankful? I am so lucky to be going through this because it reminds me of how much I am loved and that I am on the right track even if that track is leading me out of Santa Cruz.