Wednesday, April 26, 2006

Clueless

Because I don't have enough to do, I am now in charge of coordinating our volunteer massage program on top of supervising three employees, coordinating over 120 volunteers, revamping the entire volunteer program and planning agency events. As I was being trained by the previous coordinator on how to match volunteer massage therapists with clients we had an exchange that went something like this:

Him: Miriam is available for massage. She was massaging J. but that didn't work out. She would prefer to work with clients that are close to death.

Me: Ok, I will keep that in mind.

Him: Also, she doesn't come down the mountain very often so she'd prefer they come to her.
(Side Note: Mountain is an overstatement. She lives up in Ben Lomond which is a small town in the redwoods about a 20 minute drive on a narrow, windy road.)

Me: Ok. So let me get this straight. . . Miriam wants to work on clients who are near death but wants this dying patient to drive to her?

Him: Uh. . .yeah. (chuckle) I guess so.

Me: (Laughing) Some people have a lot of nerve.

Near-death patients driving themselves up a windy road for a massage? Mmmm, no. I don't think so. But thanks Miriam for really getting what our program is striving to do.

20 comments:

Amanda said...

lol Wow..

JustRun said...

Geez. Yes, I want to help but only when it's convenient for me. Not exactly the heart of a volunteer, eh?

maseume said...

it could be worse...maybe? like having to drive highway 17...at night.

Anthony S. said...

Mmmm. Massages. I think the last one I had I fell asleep on the table, snoring away.

Funny thing is, I'm a light sleeper, so any time I snore, I startle myself and wake up: "Huh..wh..what was that?", then realize I need more sleep.

Mrs. Ca said...

Ha! That's pretty funny and audacious of her. She wants to help, but doesn't want to be too inconvenienced. Geez - some people.

Bob Merrick said...

Sadly I think Miriam is just a sad metaphor for many of the selfish entitled people who are roaming our planet...

Dave2 said...

I was once responsible for cold-calling a list of previous donors to a children's hospital to see if they would contribute to a new project.

The VERY FIRST call I made, the guy patiently listened to my spiel and then asked "what's in it for me?"

Sometimes humans are a complete mystery to me.

sandra said...

It would be even better if she mentioned that she didn't like cars on her road and requested that they walk up to her place.

Claire said...

That is nervy.

Maybe she prefers the dying thinking that they'll be a less long-term volunteer commitment.

sue said...

Oh, dear... I think Miriam is extremely self-centered. Hell, if I drove on her road (near-death or not) I'd probably need another massage by the time I got off it! *shaking head* some people...

ocg said...

Haha... Miriam sounds like a real blessing to your program.

I thought at first you were coordinating massages for your office... I was going to volunteer there,if that was the case.

Bre said...

Such dedication to the cause! Miriam must impress people daily with her humble, giving nature!

guerrilla blogger said...

it would be even cooler if miriam, upon the near death people driving to see her, got THEM to give HER the massage...she would be a total winner then...

jenny said...

Miriam and I are so much alike, it's eerie. Except I just prefer dating people who are almost dead, so long as they are rich, and can still drive into the city to pick me up.

Nihilistic said...

I hate her!

Kerry said...

Damn lazy Mariam!

Bill said...

Amazing. It reminds me of something, someone said one time: "How can they stand to be in the same room with themselves?"

I suppose because they're dimwits.

But thank heaven for people like Miriam. Where else would we find comedy?

goldmoon said...

She sounds like a real piece of work! I have a feeling you won't be sending many patients her way?

kapgar.com said...

Volunteer Massage Program?!?! Just where the hell do you work and are they hiring? I've never had a professional massage and Katie's not a big fan of giving them, either.

GirlGoyle said...

I volunteer to get massages all the time. However not once have I received a voluntary offer to give me one. They are always all coherced. Where is it you work again? LOL