Thursday, April 27, 2006

Trust the Process

I am just getting by. It's ok to "just get by" for a bit but it isn't how I like to live my life. I've had to numb out in certain areas because other areas have taken up more time and energy. And yet I know that ultimately things will have to fall apart before they can be put back together again.

That's true of most things. Sometimes even we have to fall apart to make ourselves more whole. Everywhere I turn my friends are struggling. It is worrisome even though they will ultimately be fine- more than fine, really. It is all part of the journey even though right now many of them feel like life is unbearable. I don't have the answers. All I have are hugs and hours to listen and "I love you." I have a lot of the same questions about love that they do- when will I find a partner I can make it work with, why is it so hard to be in a relationship, what is wrong with me, etc. It is easy to get so bogged down with the questions we close ourselves off to the answers.

Today's meditation goes out to my friends who are deep in the thick of it. Maybe that is you? Take what you can from it and try, if just for today, to go easy on yourself.

(From The Book of Awakening, Mark Nepo)

Just trust yourself, then you will know how to live.
- Goethe

When Edison was discovering the light bulb, he first engaged in a process of envisioning how an unseeable current of energy could be harnessed and turned into light. Like most of us, the vision came first. Once he understood what came to him, it took quite some time to find the precise material that would work as a filament in the bulb itself.

Later, when asked if he ever grew discouraged or thought he was wasting his time, Edison said no, he learned something important each time he tried. He learned that there was another material not to be used.

The lessons here are very telling and transferable, especially to how we seek our calling in the world and to how we seek out love. To be willing to envision what we need is powerful and real, and just as crucial is the confidence of spirit to know that it will work, even though we haven't found where we belong or whom to love yet. Equally vital is the perseverance in trying to find what will work.

But perhaps the most inspiring part of Edison's journey is how he didn't view his many attempts as any type of failure on his part, but rather as an inevitable part of the process of discovery.

Finally, after all this, we are challenged, scientist and lover alike, to use what we discover and live in the light.

*Center yourself, and as you breathe, envision what you need to live more fully.
*As you inhale, commit to trying to find this today without judging what happens.

*As you exhale, commit to making use of whatever it is you discover.

14 comments:

alissa said...

Great post Sizz! It's an inspiration to anyone in pretty much any situation. I love your daily meditations!

Remember, there is clarity in brokenness. Some of the hardest times have been the best for discovering myself and my strength.

JustRun said...

Owning what's happened in my life is probably my greatest struggle. Thanks for the little boost (light bulb for me, too). :-)

Mrs. Ca said...

That's a great meditation! Thanks for sharing.

Bre said...

Really lovely. Sometimes, as frustrating as it may be in the short-term, having the answers isn't what matters. What matters is having the hours and giving the hugs. I'd love to have an answer. I really really would. That won't go away, but every time I have someone who will listen to my frustrations and my worries and love me and hug me anyway it becomes less important.

Melissa said...

I have moments where I truly realize the importance of what you are saying. That each partner along the journey is significant, no matter how temporary. I learn that there are things I cannot abide in myself and in others as well.

I also have moments where I want to yell quite loudly at whatever is out there listening and let them know I'm sick of kissing toads.

Mikey said...

Do you really want a relationship right now with the move coming up?

Girl From Ipanema said...

awesome post, sizzle--i needed to read this today ;)

ocg said...

This is great, Sizz... like in life we can never regret the things we've done, we can only learn from them.

Very good words today...

Nihilistic said...

Your always getting me thinking!

Buffy said...

"Sometimes even we have to fall apart to make ourselves more whole."

Well said.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Sizz...
I needed that. Now I need to try and believe.
Supple

inky said...

i'm pretty sure you were not talking about me but thanks just the same for the post.

sue said...

Thank you for sharing this. I'm hoping my daughter reads it and takes something away from it. I think she, too, is in this place.

Love ya, Siz...

Anthony S. said...

I used to be called the most patient person growing up; more recently, I swear at inanimate objects.

Patience is so important (poor inanimate objects).