Wednesday, February 15, 2006

Bong University

At this time of year we are inundated with volunteers from UCSC. The reason? There is a teacher who, in an effort to "help" us, sends us her students. In lieu of writing a paper, they can volunteer 10 hours. Oh lucky us! We get up to 150 students clamoring to help us which basically ends up making more work for us. Ten hour volunteer stints aren't really what we are in need of but between bouts of losing our minds, we are grateful. Kinda.

My co-worker recently had a run in with a cream of the crop volunteer. It went something like this:

Voicemail Message (11:29 pm):
Hiiiii. My name is Peter and I want to do the AIDS thing. I'm in the, uh, Biology of AIDS class. . . Dude! Pass it. . .(gurgle, sucking sounds). . . So uh again, my name is Peter (said while holding in the pot smoke- imagine it).

Voicemail Message (11:34 pm same night):
Uh, hi. My girlfriend, Hannah, she said I hadn't left my number. It's ***-****. Yeah. Ok.

In person phone conversation snippet:
I don't know if this whole volunteering thing is gonna work out. It kinda gnarls cuz I'm gonna have to like write a paper. Everything is during the day. . . I'm like a night guy, a night owl.

********
Oh Peter.

I bet his parents are so proud. Their hard earned dollars spent on an education he will never remember.

. . .Dude! Pass it. . . (gurgle, gurgle. . .hold it.)

16 comments:

alissa said...

Hi poor poor girlfriend. Dating pot-heads gets old REALLY quickly.

Kevin said...

I weep.

Sad, just sad.

Jenny said...

i know it all too well...i swear sometimes people show up for intv's here HIGH.

Dan said...

It must be nice to have all this blogging fodder just dropped in your lap. Some other of us have to actually work for it ;-)

jeopardygirl said...

Oh, lord. I paid for my own education, so there's no effing way I would have spent all of it stoned, even if I had been into pot. Good luck with this one.

Mrs. Ca said...

Goodness. That's hillarious. My friend was telling me the other day how she interviewed 2 people who came in together reeking of pot. College students, gah! :)

Ikatron said...

That is classic

Nihilistic said...

Good thing he has Hannah!

ocg said...

This is the funniest thing! I think I knew this guy when I lived in Portland... there were definitely a couple of them... yes, thank God for Hannah...

gorillabuns said...

i do have to admit that i interviewed for a job drunk. hey, it was the day after st. patty's day, what do you expect? and yes, i got the job.

Moonchild said...

Man your posts are getting funnier and funnier. Not sure if that's what you are going for but for me when I come home I first check on you to make sure your head is still above the water. Righteous Dude!

Krisco said...

That is too funny.

Bill said...

I could put up with idiots like this if they didn't ruin so many other lives along with their own. And I can never figure out how much to blame them and how much to blame the morons who raised them.

Gary said...

I don't think he's been on that bong too often. Otherwise,he wouldn't be able to even REMEMBER his phone number.

He actually sounds like a smart guy, though. He's found a girlfriend who straightens out his screwups.

Kerry said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH.... voicemail is so entertaining! AND its free!

circe said...

That is SO funny Sizz! :)