Friday, November 04, 2005

The Shameful Shags

These are the men we don't speak of. The unshagables. The un-beautifuls. But, shame be damned, they turn me on. So, I am joining Wino in admitting my secret crushes on what many may deem, the unworthies.

Jack Black. You are hilarious. You are nuts. We are perfect for each other. Let's get it on. (Favorite Line: "Rob, I'm telling you this for your own good, that's the worst fuckin' sweater I've ever seen, that's a Cosby sweater. " -High Fidelity)

Jeff Goldblum. You are lanky and kinda geeky and you totally float my boat. Rrrrr. I can't explain it. You turn me on, I'm a radio.


Philip Seymour Hoffman.
You creeped me out in Happiness but touched my heart in Magnolia. You are a chameleon actor. Your versatility makes me want you. Wanna make out? (Just please don't talk to me in that Capote voice.)


Bill Murray. I first fell for you in Ghostbusters. You always make me laugh. Your deadpan delivery. Your witty asides. Your genius makes me weak in the knees. (Favorite Line: "Dogs and cats living together- Mass hysteria!" -Ghostbusters)


Donal Logue. You nutty Irishman. You make my heart flutter. Maybe it was Tao of Steve. Maybe it is your belly. Maybe it is your ruddy Irishness. So what if you haven't been in that many great films. You still do it for me.

I think I have a thing for funny men.

21 comments:

Lushy said...

Donal Logue is on my list of 5. He's not an unmentionable. He would be awesome! We need to email him and let him know that we'd fight over him so he can fantasize about a Lushy/Sizzle sandwich. heh.

;)

kathryn said...

Hey Lady!

I SOOOO agree. They are yummy!

whoorl said...

I LUST after Jack Black- I seriously want to be his love slave forever. :D

Philip Seymour Hoffman is tasty, too. ;)

Bob Merrick said...

The most fascinating part is that I have been told more than once that 3 out of those 5 men either look like me or make people think of me... did I phrase that right?

Sizzle said...

I think, by "fascinating" you might mean "horrifying," no? ;)

Figures- my first boyfriend looks like 3 out of the 5 fellas I want to shag. Sheesh.

:) sizz

Bill said...

I saw that on Wino and as I mentioned in there, I've a thing for Felicity Huffman - she kills me, she's hot ... I can't believe I just typed "she's hot." I sound like Entertainment Tonight. Anyway ... I also hate William H. Macy because he's married to her. The bastard!

Funny people are the best because they're funny, non-threatening ... and easily dumped because they have so many issues. You've a gazillion reasons for giving them the heave-ho.

Personally, I'm not funny at all. I wasn't born with a sense of humour. I'm dead serious about everything. Still, people laugh at me all the time. I don't get it. (Maybe I should put my pants on when I leave the house.)

Kris said...

I am HONORED, Sizz! You really have done a great job with this one.

I would probably only have sex with Jack Black in the shower, but this last one, the character actor, the one whose name I will never remember after leaving your site . . . HE wouldn't get kicked outta bed dirty.

We'll have to agree to disagree re: the Jeff Goldblum. I have a thing about sleeping with me with 80 eyes . . .

gorillabuns said...

totally agree with most, donal logue, bill murray and most definitely jack black!

Lushy said...

*whispers* I have a thing for Charlie Gibson.

Mr_Rodacre said...

mmm... lushy/sizzle sandwich...

em said...

I'd say your choices are a tad odd...but not as odd as Charlie Gibson. That man frightens me.

Anonymous said...

Goldblum and Hoffman...i am SO with you. As for Jack Black, i think i just want to cuddle, but should you dare to add Buscemi to the list i would crawl on my tongue through broken glass to shag those unshagables.

jules

Krisco said...

I think you do! Hm! You are making me rethink some of them. Especially that Irish ruddy guy there at the end with the lame tv show...

Mo-Pie said...

Sizzle, I do believe you've gone off the deep end on this one... I mean really... what's wrong with you? Are you crazy?! Bill Murray's all time greatest line is... "Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I. JK (What was that from?)

I would indeed shag Jack Black and Bill Murray. I don't know about this Irish Logue guy though

We're speaking rhetorical right?

kim e said...

I'm so with you on the odd funny men, Siz. Donal Logue is yummy and Drew Carey has been on my list for as long as I can remember (and I didn't even like or watch his show).

Bill Maher does something for me too - and there's no need to even go down the Jon Stewart road *swoon*. Smart AND funny is the true aphrodesiac.

Brookelina said...

Great list! I did it too, but I totally cheated and changed the rules. And while I don't want to shag Bill Murray, he does have just about the best delivery of anyone in movies.
Yes it's true, this man has no dick.

LisaBinDaCity said...

I have a thing for funny men too. It's interesting how their humor can make me ignore a lot of things which otherwise might not um thrill me ;-)

Great post!

Her Daddy's Eyes said...

LMAO! This is such a funny post!

It got me thinking...I SO have a crush on the following, but wouldn’t want to shag them, only hang out with them, drunk, until the cows come home...
1. Kevin James as Doug Heffernan
2. Richard Coyle as Jeff (BBC's Coupling)
Oh my god, that would be great. And we could invite Jack Black...hehhehe. Oh, the possibilities!
~Eyes

KibitzingShiksa said...

Jack Black is SO shaggable.... I would even consider telling friends. :)

romy said...

he creeped me out in happiness too, and i've never got over it.

but yeah, otherwise, excellent post.

Moonchild said...

i just did my own version though not as clever or funny as yours.... still all of mine have matching hair :) and i so love bill murray :)