Saturday, November 19, 2005

Conversations on a Saturday Night

Him: There is a character on Prison Break called T-Bag. He was in Good Night and Good Luck.
Me: Wait! He is called Tea Bag!? Is the show on HBO?
Him: No. It is on FOX.
Me: Wow. That's pretty bold for FOX. Do you even know what tea bagging is?
Him: Uh, yes.
Me: Ok, what is it?
Him: It's when a man dips his balls into a woman's vagina.
Me: (hysterically laughing)
Him: Ok. What is it?
Me: This.

(a few moments later. . . )


Me: So have you read that sex book I loaned you?
Him: No, I have TiVo.
Me: Ok but TiVo isn't going to get you laid. You need to read the book so you won't be so vanilla.*
Him: Well, maybe I like being vanilla.
Me: Well, girls don't stick around long for vanilla. Maybe you should find another vanilla in the female form.
Him: Has it ever occured to you that I might need a Rocky Road?
Me: No, because Rocky Road will get bored with you.
Him: But I might become more like the Rocky Road.
Me: Like that girl Penny you dated? Didn't you guys have good sex?
Him: Yes. It was kind of kinky.
Me: Kinky. Hmmm. I need clarification. What exactly do you mean by kinky? I need an example.
Him: She tossed my salad.
Him: And I AM using that term correctly.

I almost fell off the couch with laughter.

You really had to be there.

*Vanilla is a Sizzle term meaning run-of-the-mill sex without a whole lot of passion or inspiration.

26 comments:

Lushy said...

Teeeeeeeaaa-bhaaaaaag!

Movie Performer said...

Your site sizzles! I've been reading your posts for a while now. I ususally wait and see if the author is as good as when I first visited his/her site before I post a comment.

I learned so much here. "Tea bagging!" Now I know what that is. Thanks for the lesson.

Movie

Movie Performer said...

A little self edeting here (usually):

Your site sizzles! I've been reading your posts for a while now. I ususally [usually] wait and see if the author is as good as when I first visited his/her site before I post a comment.

I learned so much here. "Tea bagging!" Now I know what that is. Thanks for the lesson.

Bill said...

The problem with all these terms is that it makes it so difficult to order a light lunch without getting your face slapped.

Sizzle said...

lushy- hee hee. knew you'd chime in. yippee!

movie performer- thanks for commenting! i am so glad you have been visiting. can't wait to see your new site.

bill- ha ha ha ha. you are SO right!

;) sizz

Kris said...

This makes everything I had for lunch yesterday seem kind of sick. ;)

Ikatron said...

There was an episode of sex in the city last week all about tossin' ye ol salad

Moonchild said...

wow. last night i beaded jewelry for xmas gifts and wrote out my xmas cards while watching 48 Hours Mystery. i would have much rathered had your conversation about sex and tossing one's salad any ole saturday night.

Lushy said...

Vanilla can be ok once in a while but we all know that vanilla is generally better with jimmies, crushed cookies, hot fudge, butterscotch or some other extra. Am I missing another good extra? ;)

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

Now that's just priceless. The phrase "Girls don't stick around long for vanilla" needs to be embroidered on a sampler. Or something.

...and that's one to grow on. :)

Neil said...

Should i reveal that my favorite ice cream flavor is vanilla... but GOOD vanilla...

Her Daddy's Eyes said...

I was just planning tonight's dinner menu and wouldn't you know it...tossed salad and vanilla ice cream for dessert. Hmmmm....

lol!!!

Bill said...

It occurs to me that if ever there was an argument for mouthwash this tossed salad business is it. Feel the tingle indeed!

Anonymous said...

asp: you wrote out your christmas cards already? wow. salad-tossing aside, i am way behind schedule.

- jules

Melissa said...

Just be glad he didn't ask about snowballing or felching...

Paul said...

I like vanilla as long as there's some sauce to go with it.

sue said...

I can always depend on you to increase my vocabulary... and, uh... everything else. Wow. I feel old now. ::hanging head::

Nihilistic said...

You have the best conversations ever! Lets have lunch! ;)

Emma said...

Vanilla is also used in the BDSM community to refer to someone who doesn't partake of the BDSM lifestyle OR having non-BDSM related sex.
"Vanilla" sex=no bondage, spanks, whatnot.
"Honey, let's just do it vanilla tonight, can we? My mouth is still sore from yesterday's gag."

Jenster said...

I'm just about to fall outta my chair laughing! That is too funny. I've had a few of those conversations mysels, so I can totally relate. Especially given our mutual friend. :)

I wanna know what this sex book is though. Is it the one you wrote about a while ago? What kind of rocky road love are you encouraging here? Speaking of which, I'm not so sure that rocky road and salad tossing should be brought up in the same convo. Could lead to some serious TMI.

circe said...

Wow, tossed his salad, huh? I love that phrase. Think I'll use that expression in the future. 'Hey baby, c'mere and let me toss your salad.'

;)

alissa said...

Wow, you learn something new everyday! I must be more "vanilla" than I thought!

gorillabuns said...

okay, tossing salad, eewww i guess it was better than "scat"

Her Daddy's Eyes said...

I had to read this again...LMAO!

Moonchild said...

hey jules...i'm anal about my xmas cards. i also did all my xmas shopping over labor day! ... i also live alone on the prairie...

hubs said...

haha. i'd hate to see the vagina i could dip my balls into!

tea bag and tossed salad are actually "vanilla" (not a sizzle word but a common word used to describe 'plain') compared to terms like 'donkey punch' and 'boston red sock'

warning: don't look them up if you don't want to know.