Tuesday, April 26, 2005

Next Stop, Wacko?

"This is only a detour, not the end of the road." - Lon Lopez

My friend Lon is a sweetheart to the nth degree. He talked me off a ledge yesterday and I am grateful. And while I am spreading the love (not my legs, dirty minds) I need to give shout outs to Supple for calling me at the exact moment I needed a friend. . . To Jenny Two Times for reminding me to "hold myself higher" . . .To Hillz for making me laugh through my tears (and for using the term wanker so many times, I think she broke a personal record). . .To the Tomato for responding to my IMs (which formerly stood for Instant Message but where he and I are concerned, it stands for Immediate Maelstrom).

It's true; you can't just shrivel up and wail in a corner about stuff. Well, you can but you have about one hour and then you need to pull yourself together already. Take control of yourself. Stop berating yourself for having feelings. Quit feeling bad about every damn thing. Maybe in the road trip of life this is just a bad diner stop where the bathroom is filthy and has run out of toilet paper and everything you ordered looks wilted, not just the lettuce and your water glass has lipstick on it but it isn't your shade. It's like that. And the good news is you can get up out of that saggy pleather booth and haul ass on out of there. You've got free will and choice. Things will definitely improve from here.

It is a new day and I'm seeing things differently.


Bob Merrick said...

Bravo for pulling yourself out of the mire and not letting it fester and control your life...

Sizzle said...

i thought you would be pleased. now we can enjoy our weekend sans drama, unless you have some in store for me. ;)

Bob Merrick said...

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his very life into his own hands!

This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver's license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, or significant other!!

DANGEROUS: What's for dinner?
SAFER: Can I help you with dinner?
SAFEST: Where would you like to go for dinner?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Are you wearing that?
SAFER: Gee, you look good in brown.
SAFEST: WOW! Look at you!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What are you so worked up about?
SAFER: Could we be overreacting?
SAFEST: Here's $50.
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: Should you be eating that?
SAFER: You know, there are a lot of apples left.
SAFEST: Can I get you a glass of wine with that?
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some chocolate.

DANGEROUS: What did you do all day?
SAFER: I hope you didn't overdo it today.
SAFEST: I've always loved you in that robe!
ULTRASAFE: Here, have some more chocolate.

Pass this onto all of your hormonal friends and those who might need a good laugh! Or men who need a warning! And remember: Money talks...but chocolate sings.

Another thing to giggle about... My significant other, not happy with my mood swings, bought me a mood ring the other day so he would be able to monitor my moods. When I'm in a good mood, it turns green. When I'm in a bad mood, it leaves a big red mark on his forehead. Maybe next time he'll buy me diamonds. Here have some chocolate.

Sizzle said...

i'm sorry but is this the appropriate venue for such a comment (or should i say post?)...are you trying to say that you will be plying me with chocolate upon my visit this weekend? if so, then carry on...