Tuesday, October 31, 2006

This Post Has Nothing to Do With Halloween

. . . Except how scary it is that this book is so right on.

I know, I know, everyone and their grandmother was talking about this book years ago. I am tragically unhip, remember? But seriously, my friend Faith sent this book to me and I've got to tell you- It is exactly what I (and countless other women) need to hear.

It's not like I didn't "know" this stuff before but it's timely right now. How often have we, as women, created a whole relationship, a slew of excuses, blah blah blah when really we should have just admitted to ourselves, "He's just not that into me." Because honey? He isn't.

If a guy likes you, he will pursue you. He won't be too busy to call. He won't even let travel dissuade him from picking up the phone just to hear your voice. No amount of fatigue, frustration or laziness is going to keep a man who is interested in you from contacting you. Think about it.

When I think back on my successful relationships, I never had to wonder if they were into me. They just were! And they showed it! The amount of guessing I had to do about where I stood in their priority list was minimal to none. So I say thank you- Tomato, Mikey, Dumpling, Cowboy, Jeremiah, Brian and Phil- you guys prove this theory. All the others? Prove the opposite. Thanks to them too and good riddance.

After talking to Big Dave and Hillz last night, I am even closer to completely swearing off dating. What if I just said, "no thanks" and stopped actively looking instead of just pretending that that is what I am doing when really I am secretly hoping someone will get a clue and ask me out and we will fall madly in love? I'd have a lot more free time and frankly, I'd be waaaay more sane if I shelved the dating bit. But am I strong enough to just say no? Can my mind, so used to being preoccupied with this crap, know what to do when it realizes this isn't our number one concern?

14 comments:

JustRun said...

I agree, the book is a necessary read for many and I took a couple clues from it, as well. If anything, it reminds you what you already know, which is really hard to do in dating. What with all the over analyzing and crap. :)

I am a little opposite, having never been too preoccupied with dating or finding a boyfriend when I didn't have one. I can count my serious, real relationships on one hand and have fingers to spare so now with this new dating all the time thing, I'm looking at it from another angle. And maybe that's what's important. Not to stop, but to see it all differently than you do now.

Jenny said...

*yay* for the good ones!
i think i need to read that book too.

Mr_Rodacre said...

You are most welcome, Cupcake. And I'd do it all again.

Who the hell are Brian and Phil?

Bone said...

Relationships require work. (Like I know what I'm talking about.) But yeah, if you're always making up excuses or having to constantly wonder, it's probably time to hop on the good riddance train and head back down to Singleville.

Margaret said...

Love dating books! I'm not capable of shelving the pre-occupation, but I consider "The Art of Seduction" my dating bible.

sandra said...

I think maybe the even better idea is to decide to be healthy in your dating. That way, when the right person comes along, you'll be that much farther along.

sue said...

I've not read the book, but it's true. You know if they like you... it's just not hard to tell. YAY to the good ones who you've had in your life. They do spoil ya, tho'... :)

Brookelina said...

I loved this book. A lot of people, who didn't actually read it, thought it was a slam on women. Not at all. If anything this guy respects women and doesn't want them wasting their time on the wrong guys. It was like a light at the end of a long dark tunnel.

Don't waste the pretty!!!

matilda said...

After I read this book fresh off the shelf I immed. dumped the fuckwit I met online and realized I am much better without him or others like him in my life. There is HOPE. Just don't give up on it. Amy

Becky said...

When I saw that ep of Sex and the City, it was as if the light bulb suddenly came on. I've definitely embraced that (or tried to) and whenever I have to ask what's going on, then chances are, it's not much.

Nihilistic said...

The answer is Yes

Karl said...

Yeah, I agree. If someone is interested, they pursue. They show interest. There are exceptions, I think, but they are only short-term ones, temporary.

Circe said...

This book should be a must read for ALL women. It's so down-to-earth and realistic, and women constantly give excuses to the piss-poor behavior their S.O.'s show. I think women try to make men out as more complicated than they really are and I'm including myself. I analyze everything to death. This book reminds women it's not all that complicated.
:)

kapgar said...

Doesn't he have his own talk show now? Sad.