Anything Worth Doing

Oh how does Daily Om do it? Somehow they manage to send me the message I need to hear. Today's message is all about fear and how anything worth doing will be accompanied by fear. This is true for me- the move, getting a new job, liking someone new. You have to be willing to take the risk to reap the rewards. And hell, even if the reward isn't what you initially envisioned, I bet the mere effort of trying to step out of your comfort zone is worth it.

I'm trying to convince myself of this. I'm really great at telling other people about the positives of risk-taking but I seem to not heed my own advice. Shame on me.

I suppose some might think me bold. I do have my brazen moments and not all of them involve being inebriated. Ahem. But I think that too often I do not express what I truly feel. I cut myself off internally and sever my heart from the truth. It's uncomfortable and not authentic. And I want to be authentic. Why is it that the things we want the most can make us the most scared?

I took some baby steps towards progress this weekend. I am trying to not feel inadequate in social situations. I am trying not to be so harsh when it comes to judging myself. I am trying, quite desperately, to let the Stuart Smalley in my head yell out (yes, yell- this is no time for whispering) positive affirmations, no matter how cheesy they might sound. Like this one sent to me by Bird: "First, I learned to forgive myself. Then, I told myself, go ahead and do whatever you want, it's okay by me!"

*Four days until I visit Santa Cruz!