Wednesday, September 27, 2006

The Answer Is Yes

Over the long weekend, Rae, Bird and I got into some deep talks. One frequent topic was the fact that both Rae and I are adult daughters of alcoholics. As we were browsing in Elliot Bay Books on Monday, Bird called us over to check out a book she thought we should read. We both picked it up and flipped it over reading:

  • Are you attracted to high -risk relationships?
  • Do you find it difficult to say no to other people?
  • Do you take on too much responsibility?
  • Are you still trying to have a relationship with your mother or father?
  • Do you feel different than other women?
  • Are you very self-critical, and do you struggle with perfectionism?
  • Do you feel as if something is "missing" in your life?
  • Are you unsure of your parenting skills, but don't know why?

Um, yes, Robert J. Ackerman, Ph.D. to all those questions and then some.

Needless to say, we got the book. I started reading it last night and, granted, I was very tired from all the fun over the past three days but after 30 minutes of reading I was falling asleep. I am pretty sure it was a combo of fatigue and too many emotions surfacing. I've read books about being an adult child of an alcoholic before. I even went to Alateen and Al-Anon a couple of times. It isn't like I don't know the patterns and pitfalls of being such a person but. . . something about this book strikes a deeper cord in me. Or maybe I am just finally ready to free myself from the negative thought patterns and self-fulfilling prophecies. I just know that I want to feel differently than how I have been feeling. I want to not be so afraid of forgiving, moving on, being healthy, and letting someone love me.

It's probably not the wisest choice to start reading this book when I have PMS. Oh well, I can use the dramatics and crying for a good cause this time around.


alissa said...

Woo hoo! You go girl! Break the cycle! You're healthy and good.

sue said...


JustRun said...

"..I can use the dramatics and crying for a good cause this time around."

I think you hit the nail on the head with that statement and you probably weren't even meaning to do that. Using what you've got allows you to be a lot easier on yourself than we tend to be. Unfortunately, I'm familiar with the influence of alcoholism myself and it took me by surprise when I realized that I don't have to carry the burden of another forever.
I don't really know how to end my comment other than to say that I understand a little and from what I know, you are strong enough to keep moving in the right direction.

sandra said...

Going to buy that book this week...

Mr_Rodacre said...

There's a difference between knowing the 'patterns and pitfalls' of behaviors and being able to change them. I speak from experience.

A lot of people don't know that they have the potential for more. That's why we have friends to encourage us.

(this is me encouraging you!)

Dave2 said...

Sigh. I love Elliot Bay Books. The employee recommendations alone are worth the trip.

kapgar said...

I feel quite different than other women. Thank you for asking.

Brookelina said...

Good for you!

Becky said...

I read one of those types of books a few years ago, and it was an eye-opener as far as how much of my past had dictated my future. I thought I was just anal...just because.

Lynn said...

Just want to say: Hi, I was here, and... I KNOW