Monday, August 07, 2006

What Will It Be?

Today feels like my final day of freedom.

You were all right. All that bitching about being lonely or bored or restless? Now faced with actual work, I am mentally bargaining for ways to prolong my carefree days of listless TV watching and all around loafing. You see, once you GET the job, your mind wants to take a break from all that worry and thinking and stress but you can't because now you've got to actually do a job. A job. It's been almost 6 weeks since I did any work for pay. That has never happened before in my life.

I don't feel any closer to a decision about the jobs either. I am banking on tomorrow's final interview. If I don't click with the Board member, I will have my answer. I'm trusting that I will know the right thing to do- and it won't be motivated entirely by the paycheck. I've already done the math and I'd be more secure with one but just fine with the other. So either way, financially speaking I am good. What weighs on me more right now is what organization is the right fit for my personality and skills. What do I want to be doing? Events and donor stuff or Volunteer stuff? Am I up for a challenge like I have claimed to be in countless interviews? Am I really wanting to be on the career path to an Executive Director job?

No. Stop. Make it small Sizzle. Don't go big and overthink it all right now. Ha. That's one of my strengths and one of my weaknesses. Should have used that in the interviews!

So today is about Freedom. About centering. About dropping all the low self-esteem bullshit that clouds my thinking. It's about preparation for the final step in this long job search journey. Bring on your pep talks.


Kathryn said...

You know you want to be on the path to an Exec Dir position. You also know that marshalling volunteers sucks.

You've got the personality to do the relationship building necessary to encourage major gift giving.

I really hope that you connect with the board member tomorrow, because I think that is probably the better fit for you all around.

I'm not a big fan of a hyper corporate environment, but too casual isn't good either. My vote is definitely for the job for which you are interviewing tomorrow.

Good luck girl!

Becky said...

How did you stall the other job without upsetting them? Do the people interviewing you tomorrow know they have to make a quick decision?

I think you're right in that after you get of the interview tomorrow, you'll just "know." But, I'm so glad that you'll have two to choose from. I had a feeling it would work out that way for you (not that "a feeling" pays your bills, though:)

And I'm thinking my comment could get longer here, so I also wanted ot add that I had the exact same anxiety on getting the job and then not having much in-between time to enjoy the break. I started fairly quickly as well.

Melissa said...

No matter which job you choose there will be pros and cons. Go for the one that takes you the furthest down the career path you want - the one that will help you achieve your long term goals in the most methodic way possible.

You've shown over and over again that you have a good mind for what you do, that you are capable of handling whatever comes your way.

Chin up, fingers crossed, it's your turn to shine.

JustRun said...

I know I don't know you but here's the first thing that came to mind: You don't need a pep talk. You're doing everything right.

Bre said...

Success is a funny thing. Financially I was much more successful at my previous job, but I was miserable. Now, financially I'm OK, but nothing to write home about. But I'm happy. I'm SO MUCH happier. And that comes from doing what I knew was right for me to do.

You will find that. Absolutely. I have no doubt.

You will rise to the challenge. Absolutely. I have no doubt!

Claire said...

Sounds like you're in the right mindset for it all. Trust your gut, and I'm sure things will work out.

As for your career path, remember there's not just one way to reach your goals. If you take the lower pay job now cuz it'd be less stressful, it doesn't mean you can't move on to something else down the line that would lead to being an exec. dir. You just made a big deal move to a new city... how much you want to take on at once just depends on your personality. Will the challenge invigorate or overwhelm you? I think you'll have a feel for the answer after tomorrow's interview.

Good luck!!!

snackiepoo said...

Good for you taking the day of Freedom and deciding about what you want and need. My pep talk is the same as really will know in your gut which is job is worth taking just to have one, and I think you know that because you are so much like me.

I was so glad when Coke offered me the job but gave me two weeks to start because I feel like all of this time at home has been stressful and I am loving today and the fact that laundry and TV are my main goals.

Lushy said...

You'll kick ass no matter which job you accept.

Bex said...

kick some ass tomorrow!

Dustin said...

Ooooo, you're totally bringing you game face tomorrow for the interview, aren't you! Nothing better than waltzing into an interview with an "I'm the real deal, best recognize" attitude. God I love it when interviews go well, such a high.

Good luck with the decision. It's the best kind of problem to have, but that doesn't help you make the decision.

Tell you what, whatever one you don't take, give me there contact info. and I'll play rebound applicant because obviously after not getting to hire you they'll be so distraught that it'll cloud their judgement and they might actually give me an interview.

gorillabuns said...

money aside, the job that makes you happier is the one to go with!

best of luck!

inky said...

...enjoy your last free days.....i look forward when i have some down time myself....keep us posted.

Nihilistic said...

Overthinking is what I do best as well, it also gets me in the most trouble!