Thursday, July 27, 2006

Expectancy

I managed to spend an entire day yesterday doing pretty much nothing. (Proud of me now Dustin?) I had every intention of accomplishing things but I got sidetracked by chatting (I totally blame/thank you Alissa, Kevin and Karl) on line and reading blogs and taking a nap. Let me tell you, it was one helluva day. This life, it's so rough!

I woke up thinking about my nephew. Last weekend, Dokey's Seattle girlfriends threw her a baby shower (that would make it her third and her final shower, enough already with the showering). One of the activities was to draw a number out of a bowl and draw/write a birthday card to the baby. The number you drew indicated the year of the baby's birthday. I got 13.

I sat there trying to imagine the unborn baby in my sister's swollen belly as a child of thirteen. He'll be in puberty. He probably will be gangly and awkward. Then I got sidetracked, as I normally do, imagining me in thirteen years. Holy crap! I'll be 46. It gives me a small pain of fear to type that. I'm not afraid of growing old but half the time I forget I am 33. What will it be like when I am 46? Aack! Hopefully he will still think his Aunt Sizz is totally the coolest (though, likely that that terminology will be referred to as "retro" by then). So I drew my card, wrote my note, took my Polaroid with my sister, tucked it in and sealed the envelope for it to wait thirteen years to be opened and read.

My sis wrote one too and there was a moment where she looked up, a bit dazed, and said, "I just signed 'Mom' for the first time." It's funny how big realizations sometimes hit a person in stages. I can't imagine what it is like to carry your child around in your belly for 9 months. To feel him moving. To worry if you are doing all the right things. To hold all the hopes and dreams and wishes. To love someone you haven't (technically) met.

The days tick away bringing us closer to him. If he's anything like his mom, he'll arrive a wee bit late but have a great excuse. August 15th! He's almost here! I can't wait to meet him.

12 comments:

alissa said...

What a great idea for a shower! I'm stealing that one for my sister's shower coming up in September. I've told you this a million times, but you are going to ADORE being an auntie. This is such a great time for you and your sister Sizz, I'm soooo glad you're there to enjoy it.

And you're welcome, thank you for giving me something to do all day yesterday! Online shopping with you is the greatest!

JustRun said...

We did the same thing with the birthday cards at my sister's shower. Isn't it great? We had 18 women tearing up at once. :)

Very excited for you!

kapgar said...

That is a really good idea. May have to hold on to that for the day when we have kids. Mind if I steal?

Oh, and you're welcome. Unless the blame part is still there.

Claire said...

Oh man, you just made me realize how old I'm gonna be when my niece is a teenager. It really doesn't seem right that I'll be in my 40s. Instead, I think I'll focus on the fact that she's only turning 3 next month.

Bone said...

"If he's anything like his mom, he'll arrive a wee bit late but have a great excuse."

Love that line :)

I still find myself realizing I'm not 25 anymore, and seeming just as surprised everytime it hits me.

If it's any consolation, I'll be 46 in 13 years, too. Although, I don't really see how that would be any consolation :)

Becky said...

That's a great idea for a shower. Is this your first niece or nephew? WHat's also kind of interesting is taking the 13 backwards and realize what you've done since you were 20 (or 19). I often wonder if I'll be that much different going forward to 45.

snackiepoo said...

That is so exciting and actually got me a bit misty...what a wuss. My sister had her first child a year after we got married and I see him now, walking for the first time and talking for the first time and try to imagine him at 17 coming to me and asking me for pot or something ;).

Ahhh babies, wish I wanted one.

Alison said...

That is such a great idea! Wish I'd done that at my baby shower. Oh wait, I forgot. They don't *do* celebratory showers in France. Sigh.

The last month of your first pregnancy is the hardest. You're so impatient, yet you're scared sh*tless! :)

Jacynth said...

That's an awesome idea! I will have to use it for the next kitty we get. :) ha!

Congrats to almost Auntie Sizz!

amy said...

,,,,and how very special it is that you will also be right there too.

Nihilistic said...

August...the best month EVER to be born in!!

Karl said...

Wow, very cool idea. And you kept me just as distracted as I kept you, for the record.