Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Dress for Success

There is a certain etiquette when interviewing. Say hello with a firm handshake. Make sure you smile and know how to answer the ever-present question, "What are your strengths and weaknesses?" and don't show too much boob.

What? It happens.

I bought this new shirt at Target. It's a cute kind of wrap around shirt. So cute in fact that I bought two in two different colors. That's commitment. But upon putting the shirt on with slacks and leaving the house, my breasts decided it was party time. They kept popping out! Look at me! Over here! I'm so soft and supple. Touch me!

Damn tits.

I met a potential employer at Peets for a first round interview. It was raining that day so I was wearing a coat. Then I ordered an iced tea. What? I like their iced tea. Who cares if it is cold out. Throughout the interview I felt chilled. The rainy day, the cold iced tea, sitting under an air conditioning vent, I was downright freezing. My body language said, "I am closed off." But really, I was super interested in the job and was enjoying the conversation and was very concerned that if I uncrossed my arms my breasts would come flying out.

It was a valid concern, people.

I won't be wearing those tops to an interview again. Unless it is for some sort of sex job. And if I don't land a job soon, it might come to that. I've been told I could have a career in phone sex. Though, come to think of it, I could just invest in a tank top and put it under the exposing shirt and be done with it. But phone sex, hmm, that sounds interesting. Definitely good blog material.

I have had three interviews for very promising jobs, all of which have asked me back for a second round. I've got my eye on one job more than the others though I could take any of them and be satisfied. But, like I've said, I'm not one to settle so until it comes to that, I'm keeping steady on a course towards my number one choice.

27 comments:

Mrs. Ca said...

I have a few shirts like that, and yes, a cami underneath is definitely the way to go. I've had to take a mini safety pin to some of my favorite work shirts because they've now decided that the best position is open for all the world to see.

And don't even get me started on how much I would like to buy button-down shirts but can't.

Neil said...

I'm a firm believer that to really nail the interview you need to practice in front of a mirror or friends. That is why I am suggesting that you set up a webcam and let me do a mock interview with you online. This way I can critique your interview technique. Please make sure you wear that new top.

Becky said...

Congrats on all the interviews and leads. Sounds like you did the right thing in turning down the first opportunity b/c now you'll be in a position to get what you want. Damn...three second-round interviews...wish I knew you when I was looking.

I'm also unable to wear wrap shirts without a tank underneath for the same reason. I was just watching 40-Year-Old Virgin when that woman's boob popped out, but then again, we at least wear bras:)

gorillabuns said...

i'm thinking phone sex sounds really interesting. you could then sit in you pj's while working. now that would be the life!

Melissa said...

Hold up, you mean the phone sex wouldn't be mutual?????

Oh wait. Um. Nevermind.

What is this phone sex you speak of?

sue said...

Gotta. Stop. Laughing.

JustRun said...

Ugh, I had a comment and blogger ate it!

Anyway, I think it said something like I know how you feel today because I'm wearing a new shirt for the first time and instead of it being my "look at me, I'm a grown-up and I bought this at Ann Taylor" shirt, it's saying "look at my breat parade."

Good luck with the 2nd interviews! That is a good thing.

JustRun said...

And by breat I meant breast. Clearly.

Bob Merrick said...

That may be one of your funniest posts. ever.

Sizzle said...

mrs. ca: i feel ya on the button down shirts.

neil: you are so generous!

becky: you understand my predicament.

buns: but then, what kind of people would i "meet"?

mel: riiiight. ;)

sue: i am glad my embarassment can amuse you. that's what i am here for!

just run: i HATE when blogger eats my comments. a breast parade sounds kind of fun. at least, i think neil would really enjoy it.

Sizzle said...

tomato: really? i think i can do better. :)

Claire said...

Better? This was pretty damn good. Had me laughing throughout with a short pause, and then a build up to a new reveal.

Much welcomed lightenment (yeah, I'm making it a word) for the day. Thanks.

And good luck with the next rounds of interviews!

sandra said...

Neil is so selfless. :)

Egan said...

Which part of the city are you currently calling home?

Good luck with your job hunt. I might be following you into that realm soon enough.

Sizzle said...

claire: thanks! glad i could delight.

sandra; totally. he's so damn giving.

egan: i'm in capital hill. i don't wish you a job hunt. they are tiresome!

question girl said...

hey - i once got a job because i wore a skirt...

and i have gotten out of countless speeding tickets wearing those types of shirts!

amy said...

i love the infamous "what are your weaknesses" question. i make it up every time now....sometimes i say "barry manilow" sometimes i say white cheddar popcorn, other times i say "free stuff" ....

Brookelina said...

Show us your tits!

Also, good luck with the interviewing.

No, I'm not drunk.

Bill said...

What about tight cycle-boy spandex pants for highlighting testicles? Could it work the same way? In other words, for the gentlemen out there, would a sporty look be effective?

My own experience of interviews is that what really works is a delicate combination of abuse and indifference. "Well, I suppose I could work in a place like this if it didn't interfere too much with my personal business interests, but I'd have to teach you lame ass bastards a few things about what makes a business succeed in a contemporary, digital driven marketplace. How are you guys set up for social networking?"

They love shit like that. And the great thing is you don;t need to know anything - just the buzzwords.

kapgar said...

You know, I had what I thought was a really great comment to post here until I read Neil's. Then I started laughing so hard I forgot my own comment.

I bow to Neil's might... and his webcam.

sue said...

I'm not laughing AT you, but with you... ;)

Dustin said...

So you're saying I shouldn't wear a bra when I start interviewing...

Egan said...

I know and that's why I've been in the same boring job for five years now.

Capital Hill eh? Not too far from where I call home. I'm just a bit south of you in the Mount Baker neighborhood.

Karl said...

Don't ever let me hear you say "damn tits" again. Your tits are fabulous and don't deserve to be verbally abused.

Rabbit said...

I'm sure to always wear shirts guaranteed to contain the twins. Unfortunately the girls have recently developed a Houdini-like talent for escaping the confines of my bras.

Kerry said...

oooohhh!! You and Circe should start up a business. I've always told her she should do phone sex... that deep sensual slutty voice - rocks! haha

SJ said...

I'll tell ya, the phone sex thing? The pay is ASTOUNDING.