Saturday, July 29, 2006

Don't Get Discouraged

I've heard from three jobs now that I didn't get hired. My ego and my bank account do not like this one bit. I haven't been out in the job market for 4 years and even when I got my last job, I wasn't unemployed or applying like mad to jobs. I applied to that one job and got it while still employed. It was that easy.

This has not been an easy process. Which, apparently, is how it is supposed to go. Oh the lessons I am supposed to learn! Patience. Tenacity. Faith.

It's hard not to feel like a failure. Particularly difficult when you look at your dwindling funds and feel restless from lack of routine. I have tried to pause from time to time to feel grateful for this down time. But then my anxiety wells up in my chest and I get distracted. I wish I was better at meditation.

All the employers rejecting me have been very nice. They have sang my praises while saying, "We went with another candidate." So far I've lost out on the animal job, the bike tour job, and the outreach/volunteer coordinator job with at risk youth. The last one with the youth still has one position I am up for- events manager. This is the job I want the most besides the volunteer coordinator job at the agency that works with foster kid. The problem with the events manager position is that the hiring process is taking foreeeeeeeever. And that isn't the best indication of organization or follow through. The woman who has interviewed my twice there was so sweet on the phone saying that she thinks I am awesome and it was the hardest decision to make and that she definitely wants me on staff. She's the Deputy Director so you'd think she'd have some clout with the Executive Director. But meanwhile, they are maybe calling in people for second interviews next week and then maybe having people come back for third interviews. Good god.

The women's organization called me yesterday but I was out in shoddy cell service land looking at houses with my mom and didn't get around to calling them back. I was avoiding that call really because I think they want to hire me and I think that I don't want that job. I didn't get a comfortable feeling being there. The women who interviewed me were nice but I didn't feel any click with them like I did with the other two remaining jobs. The pay is really low, the location sucks and you have to work Thanksgiving (no negotiating). Those are just some of the cons on my list. So here I am again at the table, having to ante up or fold. I sure am turning into quite the gambler.

I've been applying to new opportunities still but not at the rate I was prior to getting all these interviews. That worries me. I am beating myself up and feeling a bit panicked like I should plant myself here at this desk and send out resume after resume until something inside me is satiated. Until the feeling of fear subsides some.

Why is it so hard to trust that everything will be ok?

13 comments:

Mikey said...

I know the feeling love. It will work out. *hugs*

Alison said...

It will all work out. Have faith in yourself.

amy said...

....There is a reason for everything and for everything there is a reason. It took me 3-1/2 years of working in purgatory to find a great job and I don't even have to leave the building. Who knew? Have patience dear one. Have patience! I'd love to be able to coast around Seattle and try to find my perfect job but I can't realistically wise. I need to pay bills. So while I am taking this next job with a big smile of my face, I am still keeping one eye wide open to look for something more up my alley. Hang in there.

Anthony S. said...

When I first graduated, it took me two months to find the Teacher's Aide/Instructional Assistant position I am working now. The job market is fickle, Sizzle, so give it some time. Although I do not know how long it will take in Seattle, I am sure you will find what you are looking for.

Mr_Rodacre said...

It's always hardest to trust that everything will be okay when everything seems to be at its worst. Strangely that is when you need to believe it the most.

It's a test, Sizzle.

Call it faith, "giving it to God", the power of positive thinking, or just dumb luck: things always get worse before they get better. But they always always ALWAYS get better... better than you could have possibly imagined.

That's just the way it works...

snackiepoo said...

Believe me, if anyone understads where you are, I completely do. I have been playing this same game since May (but don't be discouraged at the time lapse there...a lot of that was my decision) and while one moment I was able to tell myself that it was karma waiting to send me the "right" job, another moment I was down on myself and found myself too much watching TV in the dark.

I would tell you not to worry but that is lame; It does help to just let go and let (insert whatever higher power you believe in here) and totally stick to that so you have less stress. Sometimes the correct fix takes a little time.

Okay I am done with the platitudes and now I can say, that just fucking sucks.

Claire said...

The more responsibility a job has/ the higher the pay is, the longer the hiring process is. That's natural.

Do your interviews, write your thank you notes, and even if you don't get the gig, use it as an opportunity to network (especially when they say you're groovy- maybe they know of something else you'd be good for or someone you should talk to).

That said, I hate networking and job hunting, so I sympathize much. Hang tough!

Nihilistic said...

Your almost there!!! Almost!

Rabbit said...

Hang in there, Sizz! After this job search is over, you'll be able to take on anything!

JustRun said...

That feeling sounds so familiar. You want to enjoy the time but when it comes down to it, you're a planner and not knowing nearly kills you. And as wonderful as all the encouraging messages are (and as true, for that matter) you still can't get past the fact that what you want to happen isn't happening right now!
I don't have much else, just that I understand. Oh, and it will be okay if only because you are afraid it won't.

Impossible Jane said...

Oh, so sorry to hear about the three jobs. When my friend moved to D.C. after college she volunteered at a few organizations to fill her time but also as hopes that she'll get hired...she ended up getting hired at her volunteer job. Maybe pick an organization that you'd think you'd like to work for and volunteer yourself up. it kills two birds with one stone...you get structure to you day and you get to prove that you're going to be a valuable employee.

Margaret said...

Take pride in how diligent you've been in your search. It will all work out.

Dustin said...

So does it make you feel any better if I say that I've applied for a grand total of 1 job?

Expext an e-mail from me wanting to pick your brain about how you went about your search.