Tuesday, June 06, 2006

Much Too Much

I'm discombobulated.

I've started and erased four posts so far. That's how it has been lately. I can't come up with something cohesive because my mind is all over the place. I am thinking about jobs, rentals, the garage sale, plans with friends, the long list of things to accomplish at my job before I can train the new hire. Oh right- I have to hire that person too. Oh right, they are supposed to start next week.

I spent yesterday putting out brush fires at the office. It sucked and by the time I got home, I was brain dead and exhausted. The only things to cure me were vino and froyo and an early bed time. I could write quite a best seller based on the last four years at my agency. The shit that goes down there! The drama after drama. You'd think I'd been working on the set of Days of Our Lives, not a non-profit.

We had new neighbors for about 5 days but they've already moved on. By new neighbors I mean that a threesome in their dilapidated RV that broke down next to our house. By move on I mean they must have pushed the dead RV up a block because it is now parked in front of someone else's house. Maybe they saw me taking pictures yesterday morning and got worried I was going to report them. I wasn't even though I thought about (the pics were for the blog). I felt torn- it was an eyesore and annoying to have to hear them coming and going right outside our windows but their "home" broke down and they clearly didn't look like they could afford the drugs they were on, let alone the tow/repair costs to fix that monstrosity.

I'm such a bleeding heart.

Life is just a little bit too much for me lately. I'm hanging in but I am more tired than usual, less witty, less fiesty. I am wearing down. I haven't cried about moving in a week. I think I am repressing my emotions because I've been dealing with other people's feelings more than my own. Or maybe I am coming to terms with the fact that I am shedding this life here in The Cruz like snake sheds his skin. Either way? I need a nap.

12 comments:

Jenny said...

it's a strange time...and despite the hard stuff...you are moving on to new beginnings.

the shedding is perfect, it lets the *new good* in.

you shine, lady...even on the overcast days.

i've said this over and over and i'll say it again.

you are a gift to those who know and love you.

Bone said...

"but their "home" broke down and they clearly didn't look like they could afford the drugs they were on..."

You seem plenty witty to me :)

And I haven't watched Days in years. Wonder if Bo and Hope are still on there. And John. And Marlena. I mean, uh, I've never watched Days. Who are those people?

ocg said...

Jenny said it.

This last time crunch is completely overwhelming... and you have so much more on your plate than most people. I am sorry you are so stressed, but some vino and an early bedtime seem like a good temporary relief.

::hugs::

Bre said...

Might I also suggest a very strong frozen drink (preferably pink) with an umbrella (preferably green) in it? That usually helps me.

Melissa said...

Hang in there, chica, you will accomplish all that you can, and what you cannot... oh well. Remember, you are only one person.

Mrs. Ca said...

I hope you get that nap, and maybe a frozen fruity (yet alcoholic) drink or two as well.

Anthony S. said...

I'll mix you up a drink, Ms. Sizzle. Maybe a Scooby Snack?

Your new life starts soon; I was going to go to Santa Cruz for an audition, but had neither the time or the money to make it last week. Don't fret. Your discombobulation will come together on its own soon enough.

Alison said...

Discombobulated is my favorite word, but it is not my favorite feeling.

It will come together. You're just in the middle of it all. It sounds like a little wine and an early bedtime was a perfect way to deal with your stress. Throw in a bath if you have a tub, and you will feel better!

My comment word is xbumpykx. I hope it makes you smile at the very least!

Nihilistic said...

Hush little baby don't say a word...Mommy's gonna buy you a mocking bird...And if that mocking bird won't sing...Mommy's gonna buy you a diamond ring...And if that diamond ring turns to glass...Mommy's gonna buy you a looking glass...

Feel sleepy now?

Gary said...

I always feel weird in a situation like yours. I call it the "one foot out the door" feeling.

JustRun said...

I am all about booze and sleep curing what ails ya.
Maybe you're not shedding the old life as you are packing it away. And ya know, packing is hard work.

Bill said...

Maybe it's partly the time of year ... my posts and comments are all over the place. I really shouldn't be online at all. I've deleted so many "started" posts I've lost count, and posted and commented so many moronic things it's become embarrassing.

Sometimes you're in the zone, and sometimes not (for various reasons). But that's life, I suppose.