Validation

We are all seeking it, in some form or another. From our boss or co-workers for a job well done. From a lover to assure us that their love is true. From a coach. A friend. A parent. A child. We are all asking: Do I matter? Am I worthy?

Maybe not every day. Maybe not from everyone. But it follows us around, a lurking shadow that shifts with the given sun.

Yesterday I received an email out of the blue from a young woman I used to mentor. She was a member of an activist group of teens that met weekly putting into practice leadership and community-building skills through volunteering. I loved working with all of them because they were fierce and funny and so full of hope and intelligence. Part of her message to me said this:

I am writing to you because I have always remembered you as someone who really sticks up for real people, all people. I remember that you always had an open mind and a great sense of fun, and that has touched my life in ways that I will remember forever.

Sometimes a job is just a job but for me, more often than not, my job has been about helping people. Teaching women and girls self-defense. Facilitating support groups for young girls to build self-esteem. Educating the community about domestic violence and sexual assault. Working with at risk teens in a group home. Matching volunteers to programs that support HIV + clients. I have always been committed to making a difference, to touching people's lives for the better. And yesterday, via a myspace email, I got a glimpse that I am on the right track.

It is a powerful realization. That somewhere, someone remembered you and is grateful for having known you. It humbles and inspires me.

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My Five Things (only two days left!). . .

1. I am good listener.
2. I don't give bullshit advice.
3. I don't pander to your weaknesses when giving said no-bullshit advice.
4. I encourage greatness.
5. I strive for authenticity.