Thursday, May 04, 2006


"You're losing it. And when it's lost all you are is a loser."

Last Saturday I got a call around 12:00pm. From my bank. Supposedly.

There I was minding my own business, playing some WEBoggle and burning some cds in my pjs on a gray weekend morning when my cell phone rang. Now, I don't generally answer my cell phone. My friends can attest to that. Text me, sure I will respond. Phone me, maybe I will pick up. I'm fickle like that. Anywho, there I am, acting out of character, answering the phone. There was a guy on the line who claimed to be from Bank of America and was telling me that my ATM/Credit card was being suspended and a new one would be issued to me within eleven working days.

Hold up.

Eleven days!?

Maybe I had been watching too many conspiracy theory type films but that just didn't sound right, let alone fair. Why were they calling me on a Saturday to tell me this? Doesn't that seem... fishy? It did to me. So I let him have it. I think I even swore. The swearing part is characteristic but the lashing out at a perfectly unsuspecting stranger just doing his "job" is not. Oddly enough, I don't feel all that bad about it five days later. Nor even in the moment. Something had taken hold of me.

I'll spare you the blow by blow. Basically, after I ripped that guy a new one, I called around in a frantic panic trying to verify that, indeed, my card was going to cease working that very day. Within the hour actually. Upon talking to another BoA employee, I confirmed that yes, I had 30 minutes to get down to my bank to withdraw money before the card went kaput.

Apparently there is this device that can be used by thieving meanies on ATM machines that can read people's cards and pin codes that then "compromises" the safety of your account because they may or may not have your private information. So then the bank has to call up all of us who withdrew money from there and void our cards, issuing us new ones.

This makes me very angry and really sad. We can't even withdraw money from a fucking ATM machine without worrying about identity theft or bank account fraud? What in the hell is wrong with people? And yes, there are far worse things to get all up in arms about, to bitch and moan about, to throw your checkbook at the wall about, but this pisses me off. For someone like me whose ATM is basically her only source of plastic, you kind of get screwed. Definitely inconvenienced. Certainly annoyed.

BUT THEN the card comes in the mail (within 5 days after I bitched them out). And somehow, brilliantly, after activating it and having it in my hands for a mere 5 minutes, I have lost it.

I am not kidding.

It is somewhere in this house. I have checked trash cans,the recycling bin, under the bed (Dash likes to steal things out of my purse and hoard them under the bed), in the fridge (I wouldn't be surprised if I put it in there) and in my underwear drawer (Why? I have no idea. I am desperate here.) It. Is. Lost. Supple comes over. She looks under couches and in the bathroom. No luck. Mike comes home and I give him the third degree. "Is it in your wallet?" "Did you accidentally throw it out?" He grabs a flashlight and braves the recycling bin outside, in the dark to no avail.

I am not well in the head. I have to put myself to bed. As I am grumbling and hanging clothes back up, he walks down the hall while encouraging Lou to "show mama." She prances into my room with the ATM card lodged in her collar, both of them beaming. Apparently it had inadvertantly gotten tucked inside a birthday card I received in the mail. While trying to clean up in an effort to locate the damn thing, I had hidden it from myself.

Thanks to Mike (and Lou) I was able to get a good night's sleep.

The Last Five Things (phew! you thought it'd never end, didn't ya?)

1. I am friendly.

2. I am creative.

3. I am a good cook.

4. I make an effort to get to know people on more than a surface level.

5. I can articulate my feelings.


alissa said...

That is totally something I would do. Completely.

kapgar said...

Katie and I have done that sort of thing as well. She will remove credit/ATM cards from her wallet to keep in her pocket while at work or wherever so she doesn't have to carry her purse. And then they get "lost." I've found them any and everywhere. Clothes pockets, car consoles, backpack, work smock, washer, dryer, you name it.

And I did it just recently after purchasing some Chinese food. Found them in the middle console of my truck. Aye mira!

JustRun said...

I'm forever misplacing the ATM card. I always know it's in the house or in the car but, like you, hell if I know where I left it. Kind of scary when you it's your only line of cash.

P.S. Good job on your list. It's been good for me to read every day.

OT said...

Was going to say you may've wanted to call yourself and give yourself a good tongue-lashing, however you likely would not have answered...

Stumbled across your blog while Googling Umbrella Man. I've been away from the Cruz since 1993, but was raised there. Your blog is a good read...

Bob Merrick said...

Never ever ever use any of your cards INSIDE a gas station. It is a huge scam they have going on where they somehow get your numbers and dupilcate them. It has happened to me twice and both times were after I had used my card inside... always use your card at the pump only. When I was at the bank they said it is one of the biggest scams going today because then they run around town going to gas station to gas station taking out $50 here and there until your account is drained... it SUCKS!

That is my tip for the day.

Jules said...

ok, so i know there are more important things to mention, but i can't help grinning 'cause you quoted Watts and now i am doomed to love you forever. :-)

snackiepoo said...

Wow okay, are you my good twin? I have this affliction thing with answering any phone. I will look at the caller ID, look again and if it is private, no answer. If it is someone I need to speak to, I will answer but otherwise I like to call them back on my time-frame.

And I would have been leary (then ticked) about the bank thing as well. How scary and how odd that they gave you such a short notice.

Then again, if you had answered the phone ;).

Miss Bliss said...

I swear the whole banking industry pisses me off. There are banks that you can walk into and they will hand you an ATM card and you can pick you PIN right then and there and walk with a working card. If ONE bank can do it, they ALL can do it. They don't simply because it's all about them holding onto your money as long as they possibly can under any and all circumstances. I HATE HATE HATE the banks.

ocg said...

I am soooo glad that you found your card!!!!

What a stress... and how great are Mike and Lou?!?!


Bre said...

That's the kind of crap that I was so sure only happened to me - I'm not glad it happened to you but I'm glad that I'm not the only person it happens to!! I always stop, mid clutter, and say a prayer to St. Anthony like the good catholic girl I was trained to be.

As for the list - I've loved reading them, if only because it makes me consider these attributes in relation to myself - it makes me feel better!

maseume said...

I think Netflix's database was compromised in some way shape or form because the same thing happened to me and when I pushed for information from my bank they said that they were contacted by a company that has my card on file and warned of the possible security flaw. I don't get how these HUGE companies don't have sufficient security. If a hacker can pick up a pin from the freakin bank when you are using your atm or gain access to your credit card, don't we have the technology to prevent that? So annoying.

Claire said...

I'm glad you found it. I had similar probs when I first opened my account. Two weeks and my checks hadn't shown up. I call them, they were ordered, they say give it another day. Next day, call back, cancel those and order new ones which they tell me will take another 10 business days. They were so blase about it, it drove me nuts.

jjjj said...

1. I have the next four days off.
2. I am going out of town tomorrow.
3. I get to eat good comfort food.
4. Two friends are coming too.
5. I am going to a surprise party Sunday.

Have a good weekend :) I'll be glad when I don't feel the need to list stuff in your comments.

Nihilistic said...

That is too funny about your card! I always check the fridge as a desperate place to look for something too! I've never found anything in there, but I always look...why is that?