Sunday, April 09, 2006

SF Flashback

Good times last night in the city with my best girl Hillz. She flew in for her sister's birthday party. Being with her is like being home.

Being in the city always reminds me of Scoots. He and I dated for about 6 months about 4 years ago. Our first date had us walking down the very street I walked down last night. It was a great first date as dates go- romantic, fun, a sweet first kiss (which he always referred to as the Brady Kiss because he swore he saw fireworks).

Some ex's I just don't miss. And it isn't because I hate them. The relationship just was what it was when it was and when it was over, it was over. I didn't want a round two with them. I make it sound like I did that easily with Scoots. At the time, that wasn't the case. I really wanted to be in a relationship then so I tried to make it work in spite of every sign from the universe telling me that he was not for me.

It's a bit sad that in remembering him now, I don't do it with fondness. Sure, he bought me things but I am not materialistic. I'm the type who'd prefer you take me to the ocean and ask me to dance right there, in front of everyone, in the glow of the headlights, with the roar of the waves and Frank Sinatra belting out "The Way You Look Tonight." (And yes, that very scenario did happen but with a very different boyfriend.) Sure, we had adventures. In a mere 6 months of dating we traveled to Vegas, Arizona and Sonoma. But don't even get me started about what a horrible travel companion he was... he makes me look like a sloth when it comes to being a control freak. Sure, he would compliment me. But always in a back-handed way- "Sizz, you sure look good when you aren't wearing those old converse." He hated my beloved converse about as much as he hated how broke I always was.

My most glaring memory of Scoots is the time we went to the hardware store to get some screws for his new dresser. Apparently me knowing that his new piece of furniture was from IKEA, which is based in Sweden and thus utilizes the metric system means that I embarrass my boyfriend. Who knew that being helpful was such a detriment? As we stood outside the store, securing our helmets for the scooter ride home, he whined to me, "You embarrassed me in there." To which I responded incredulously, "Wha!? How?" And he, in his narcissistic metrosexual egomaniac way said, "I'm supposed to know those things. Not you." That was how he did things. He took everything that was a positive about me and turned it into a negative about him. To him I was always "too smart" or "too funny" or "too silly." To me, he was just too much of a pain in my ass. When we broke up, I promised myself I would never again apologize for being who I am, especially to someone who is supposed to be loving me.

17 comments:

jeopardygirl said...

I'm a firm believer in "when it's over, it's over." I'll put up with a lot of crap, but when I'm done and walking away, don't expect me to look back. Good for you, Sizz! Don't ever apologize for what and who you are, because the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life, is you.

Claire said...

"When we broke up, I promised myself I would never again apologize for being who I am, especially to someone who is supposed to be loving me."

Good for you. However you choose to view your time with him, he sounds like he was perfectly equipped to reveal that lesson.

Anthony S. said...

It's always a plus to have a love that knows something you don't; an exchange of info is always useful.

Bex said...

wow, "too smart," "too funny," "too silly," sounds like you were way too good for him.

JustRun said...

I understand. It's only when looking back that I can see the purpose ex boyfriends had in my life. At the time of break-up, there's just no good reason. Or good enough reason, anyway.
Good for you!

Bill said...

Hmm ... It sounds like the beginnings of a great comedy script.

(How could he not know the IKEA thing? Even I know that. Of course if it were me it would have been something like,

"Have you got any of those funny nails - you know, they have the ridges and you turn them instead of hitting them?"

"Do you mean screws?"

"Is that what they're called?")

Sarcomical said...

okay, i have to ask.

"scoots"?

my mind is wandering places here. what did the name mean? did he get diarrhea a lot or something? ;)

Sizzle said...

i love that you asked sarcomical. ;)

it wasn't a nickname i gave him. it's a derivative of his first name and the fact that he rode a scooter.

i like to call him "sweatypants" but that's a whole other blog post entirely.

:) sizz

Nihilistic said...

I don't like Scoots!

Bre said...

First, even though it's completely unrelated to the point of this post, I must tell you that I'm utterly jealous of the fact that you can wear two necklaces at one time without them getting tangled around one another.

Second, I've been in that place too, where you hold onto a relationship because it's comfortable and sometimes good. Because you get to have things addressed to you "plus one." Good for you for moving past him and for embracing the fact that there is no such thing as too smart, too funny, and too silly!

Mikey said...

Are you sure that's not Laura Linny?

Krisco said...

That's awesome. That is a great realization. And a good commitment to yourself.

And what a lameass on his part. Sheesh!

GirlGoyle said...

Amen sist'a!! I've been there and despite not being so negative all towards me all the time I realized after it was over that I had sacrificed all to be with a man. Plus...the reason for dumping me was that I was "too mature for my age and not any fun." Riiiight! This because I didn't find going out every weekend with a mission to get loaded and crash on friend's couch the highlight of the week. Blach.

gronce said...

And that, my friends is lesson #1. Love yourself and the rest will follow.

gorillabuns said...

i've dated a few like him. challenging his stereotypical sense of being man when you might be a little more intelligent than he. it is always wise to be your biggest fan otherwise, you are disappointed in others when they don't cheer!

amy said...

Sorry I'm confused. Is Hillz now a woman and she used to be a "he" and Scootz? Or who is Scootz? And how is he related to the chick in the photo?

Sizzle said...

asp- hillz is my best friend and she is the one in the photo with me. scoots is an ex who lived in SF and since I was in SF visiting Hillz for her sister's birthday party it reminded me of him, thus the two going together in one post.

she was never a man though apparently, she does kinda look like laura linney.