Monday, April 10, 2006

Oh No You Didn't

Ever chased your cat around the house because they have gobs of poop stuck to their furry behind?

Imagine how that would be.

I found it peculiar when Dash jumped up on the couch stinking so I did what any petmom would do- I grabbed his tail to check his butt. Good god! Dash is a very furry kitty so the poo was sticking to him in 4 places. Ewwww. Just. Ew.

I tried using a paper towel to clean it but he was having none of that. He wiggled out of my arms and ran under the bed. Great. I enlisted Mike's brute strength. "Here, hold stinkypoocat while I use a wet paper towel and some scissors." By the end of "surgery" we were both covered in blonde cat hair and I am betting Mike was severely traumatized. He is phobic about puking but poop runs a close second.

I am thinking that whole experience was a test for me. Will I be a good aunt? Can I handle a stinkypoocat butt without throwing up my dinner? If the answer is yes, proceed to the next level. Yay me! Bring on the nephew with the stinky diapers. I passed the test.

But then, that's not all. Because what do I find when I walk into the bathroom this morning? Oh yes. Dash was at it again. I didn't shut the door! Damn me! There goes a perfectly good roll of toilet paper. If only he could figure out how to use all that wasted toilet paper on his own stinkypoo butt, we'd have a solution.

I am really, really tired. Like wiped out tired. Like I did not get out of my pjs all day yesterday tired (which probably goes without saying that I never left the house). I actually didn't feel anxious about being so lazy (which is totally unlike me). I must be really tired. No fooling. I need to rest up because this weekend is going to be Birthday Central. Fun! Fun! Fun! Plus, I have already instituted the "buffer zone"- meaning that you can't be mean to me for the next 8 days. You can, however, lavish me with compliments and tokens of your affection.

18 comments:

JustRun said...

Isn't it odd how they can be so disgusting and yet you still love the heck out of the little suckers?!

Woohoo!
On the Birthday week, not the poopy cat!

goldmoon said...

I am also not good with the poo/puke. Hercules projectile vomited bright yellow this weekend and I couldn't go near it. Okay, I should not have related that tale while I was eating lunch...

Mrs. Ca said...

Sounds like you, Mike and Dash had a fairly crappy day! (Sorry, couldn't help myself)

Nihilistic said...

I'm so glad Dexter has short hair!

Bre said...

ugh - I've been there many times... like the time my St. Bernard decided to eat Tiger Lilly reeds to calm her upset stomach... what goes in, must come out.. in long stems that drag across the dining room

Anonymous said...

sweaters. that's it.

oh, and roll, not role.

the mighty spelling sizzle actually has a typo. amazing.

Sizzle said...

we can't have that spelling shame hanging out there for everyone to see.

i fixed it.

so there. ;)

Rabbit said...

Love is . . .

. . . cleaning your kitty's stinkypoo butt.

Ikatron said...

Growing up one year at christmas we had tinsle, that was the last year, the cat happened to eat some. A few days later that was running around with tinsle hangin from her butt with poop on the end. She didn't really like the fact that we pulled it out and it happened to be four inches up in her intestines.

inky said...

...if that happened to ME... i'd be either dead or still in the ER with my throat closed. I'm severely allergic to cats and putting my head up to a cat's ass would just make me blow up like a big balloon. gack.

jenny said...

Ever chased your cat around the house because they have gobs of poop stuck to their furry behind?

I'd like to challenge all your readers to write an entry that begins with that line.

Okay, wait. Scratch that idea. I'm not sure I could read any more entries like that... and I am a cat owner! ;)

Gary said...

Happy Birthday week. Tell everyone I said to be nice to you.

BTW, that cat needs to be enrolled in pooping classes.

Mikey said...

Try it with a Persian. I call Sela Miss Poopybutt when she has that.

Jules said...

chasing a pet with poop stuck on their butt...nope, i have no concept of what that might be like.

no, really.

i swear.

Bill said...

I saw our current Prime Minister here in Canada, Mr. Harper, in an interview confess that he was a cat person rather than a dog person. He then had an interesting observation. "The difference between a dog person and a cat person? The difference between someone who wants to be loved and someone who wants to serve."

I didn't vote for the guy but I'll give him a thumbs up on the observation.

GirlGoyle said...

Well...my friend has a poodle with the same issues and she keeps the dog clipped short in the pooper. My pet needs a shovel when he leaves road apples so I can't really relate. But...I think the whole clipping thing might be something you should cosider if you can keep the little bugger still long enough to get it done.

sue said...

Oh, been there done that. My cats don't seem to have the problem, but I've had Shih Tzu dogs that if they get too long hair in the "back" can have that happen. What's bad is when it blocks them and you really have to do something... Oh, that just brought back terrible pictures in my head. Let it go...let it go....

Love is having enough guts to take care of poopy butts - no matter if they are critters or humans. Old or young. :)

anne said...

Happy Happy Birthday week! : )

Ah, kitties...mine don't usually have this problem, but I have on occasion found a random teeny tiny turd that fell off the back when they least expected it.