Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Personalize This!

I recently received a work email from a person I have collaborated with and who had, on many ocassions, sang my praises. Apparently this person was either having a bad day when they wrote the email or had been blowing smoke up my bum all those times they told me how fabulous I am.

I should have known.

You see, some people can't be trusted. They are too nice. Too accomodating. Too shmoozey. That's part of this job I can't take: the fakeness factor. A horrible liar does not a good shmoozer make. And we all know what a kind of liar I am. I really need a new line of work.

I had originally emailed this person asking in a coy manner for any "tips" around publicity for an upcoming event I am coordinating. This person is well connected in the media. I was working an angle. Let's just establish this now: I know how to publicize events. I don't have a degree in marketing but I have worked here for many years and know a thing or two. Like how to write a press release. I don't really need "tips" but with a very small budget, I do need "free advertising." I suppose I should have been more direct in my email. Note to self: Always stick with being direct.

Instead of getting a friendly email back in our typical banter-like way, I received a bit of a tear. When someone says: "I invite you to not take this personally." You have to know that that can only mean one thing. Yep. Someone is going to rip you a new one.

Haven't people learned that starting off with "don't take this personally" is akin to saying "Be prepared because I am about to be a super jerk but you totally can't hold it against me if you get upset." It's always when it is MOST personal that they want you to not take it that way. There have been plenty of times I have let things slide and not taken them personally. It is a skill I am mastering.

But this time, I will take it personally. I decline your "invitation."

Because what was said WAS about me. Because the intent of my original email was competely misconstrued and blown out of proportion. Because I am at my wits end with this job and, frankly, am going to personalize a whole shitload of stuff. That's just where I am at with it.

Oh and THEN (and then!) the email is closed with: "No reply is necessary" thus shutting down any rebuttal on my part. Nice. Clever, you jerkface. So you get to berate me via email, invite me to not take it personally and then cut off any actual communication? Could you be any lamer?

Some things really aren't worth fighting. I can let this go. In the grand scheme of life, this is nothing- a speck of dust. But damn it if it didn't piss me off.

29 comments:

Kevin said...

So make sure he doesn't take it personally when you register his e-mail address with some spammail sites.

And tell him that no reply is necessary. You will take his silence as gratitude.

Mikey said...

I hate the fakeness factor. I like Kevin's idea and spam them!!! Could this be from the cold?

goldmoon said...

I'm sorry, Siz. Who could be mean to you? Must be a real ass-face.

circe said...

As hard as this is, take the high ground, Sizz. Yes, you could lambast and rip a reciprocal new one, but for what purpose?
(hugs)

circe

Lushy said...

On behalf of my fabulous friend, Sizzle, I would like to invite aforementioned Jerkface to munch me.

Dan said...

Well, Sizz, I invite you to not take this personally... but you take things too personally.

Not knowing what you weren't supposed to take personally in the email, I will presume that whatever jerkoff said was inspired by his own incompetence regarding the question asked.

Neil said...

That says a whole lot more about the other person than you. What a jerk.

Melissa said...

Send me their email, we'll say no more about it. We never had this conversation.

Anonymous said...

Do not take this personally.

It is not worth your energy, every little ounce of it, to "fight back." Just brush it off and make a note for future reference.

Note: It is easier said than done.

Sizzle said...

i am so not fighting back on this one. i just don't care enough about it honestly.

Amanda said...

Oh my...I don't blame you one bit for being pissed off. I would be the same way. ESPECIALLY with the last phrase...No reply is necessary. That is BS. oooooo..

sandra said...

Sometimes I really want to kick people's teeth in re: work. I just don't understand why it's ever okay to be an asshole.

Moonchild said...

Back when I worked in the media... I'd get this all the time. Backstabbers are horrid evil evil people.... just another reason why I quit the newspaper gig (twice). I should have learned my lesson the first time but had to learn it a second time for the competitor. Ouch. Hang in there.

Claire said...

Dude, that sucks! I hate that. Assholes are everywhere unfortunately and schmoozing (which I suck at) seems required for getting ahead.

However, I take this post as a cathartic rant which means your way past wanting my offer to give this person the smackdown for you. Right? ;)

hang in there.

Mr_Rodacre said...

Of course, the master of this particular skill would be Simon Cowell:

"I don't mean to be rude, but you look like the Incredible Hulk's wife..."

"Please don't take this the wrong way, but you should put on a dress and become a female impersonator..."

"If I'm being honest... and I'm not being rude... it sounded like a screeching cat... absolutely the WORST thing we've heard all day..."

It's funny when he does it though. And not directed at you...

gorillabuns said...

i usually think i need to have the last word. this usually gets me into heaps of trouble. i speak before i think about what i'm spewing.

glad you can let it slide.

Anonymous said...

hope that guy gets a hole in his sweater.

Sizzle said...

anonymous sweater lover person: i think this fella has a hole in his head! ;)

Bob Merrick said...

I hope he gets the hiccups!

Debby said...

What an asshole!! I say sign him up for some porn sites using his work computer info. HAHAHAHAHAHAHA

That will teach him to be mean to poor sweet Sizzle.

Rabbit said...

Voodoo doll.

'Nough said.

Nihilistic said...

I made some calls...He'll be swimming wif du fishes...

Gary said...

That person sounds like a loser to me. You can tell him or her that for me if you contact them again. And by the way, tell them not to take it personally, and that no reply is necessary.

Bill said...

I'm anxiouslty awaiting the next post. Currently, every time I visit here I get the finger! Very alarming!

That's a very feisty image.

kim e said...

Overly shmoozey is definitely an indicator that should throw off alarms. Unfortunately, those sneak attacks come when you least expect them. At least the guy was an asshole directly to you and not behind your back to everyone in the office. I work with a snake like that....

Miss Jes said...

You should configure some auto-reply to all her emails.

"Your email has been automatically re-directed to the rubbish chute. No reply is ever necssary as the process will be repeated".

sue said...

what an asshat. really.

Kerry said...

OHHH! I saw a website once where you could send (anonymously) a 'shitty' greeting card. I think you should send that person a big old turd! ;)

Krisco said...

That is weird and obnoxious.

I bet whoever it was is regretting it already. Email can be a bitch.