Sunday, February 26, 2006

A Day in The Cruz

Hi drunk lady walking down the middle of our street. That is quite a get up you have on. I can't bring myself to say "outfit" because well, look at you. You probably got dressed drunk, right? Don't you know that is a sure-fire way for a clothing disaster? And really, the forty ounce in the plastic bag? How cliche of you!



Oh! Are you tired from all your boozing and stumbling around the neighborhood? Why don't you take a load off on my neighbor's stoop. They won't mind. I am sure their big black dog won't maim you. He seems friendly. That's right, soak up some rays. You are looking a little peaked.





Going so soon? But you only rested for a minute or so. (Barely affording me a chance to snap your photo.) I have to say, I really love how you have improvised with that shawl wrapped around your waist. That green dress thing doesn't show off your curves so you've snagged a shawl and made it define your waist. Excellent idea. Too bad it emphasizes the saggy fact that your breasts droop to your waist.




I almost forgot to mention how much I like your head wrap. It does wonders for hiding the grays, not to mention dirty hair. Unfortunately, it makes you look a lot like Sam Kinison. Was that the look you were going for? Yes? Ok then, score one for you!






Hey Sam, I can't let you go without saying that those shoes, while clearly worn for comfort and not fashion, look a bit beat up. Your ensemble calls for sandals at the very least. Please make a note of that for the next time you take a drunk walk down my street. Thanks, Sam. I knew you'd understand.


Be careful out there, Sam. It's a mad, mad world.

18 comments:

Bill said...

I was wondering what Sam was up to these days. Now I know! He's setting fashion standards in the Cruz!

sandra said...

Wow. It appears that the fashion sense of the folks in SC is rather similar to that of many in SF. Yesterday, for example, I believe I saw Conan the Barbarian. Which I thought might be the strangest thing I saw all day, until I walked by a guy wearing waders and full-on fishing gear. Never boring...

Dave2 said...

And people wonder why Jessica Hahn left him...

Mr_Rodacre said...

You guys know Sam Kinison is dead, right?

Is this like one of those Elvis sightings? Or Jim Morrison?

Mikey said...

LOL Sam Kinison that was great. Mr. Rodacre you do know Elvis went back to his home planet. (A MIB joke)

Debby said...

He's not really dead, you do know that right? He's living on that private island with Elvis. Both of them got to the point that they were worth more dead than alive to their handlers. Am I the only one who knows these things?!!

Anonymous said...

my whole damn people-watching (oh come on, we all know it's gawking, not watching) family take their hats off to you and throw them into the street to be danced upon drunkenly by a woman in unfashionable shoes.

- jules

Jurgen Nation said...

I just shot water out of my nose. This is the funniest thing I've read in a long time.

JustRun said...

Oh that's too much! Where did she come from?!?

K said...

Bless you and your digital camera! Heee-larious!

Nihilistic said...

Had she been wearing red you would have your project done!

Bre said...

Ha! I am so very glad you had a camera handy!

Mrs. Ca said...

I love people watching. And I truly love drunk-people watching (that's when the people are drunk not me, although the other is fun too).

Kevin said...

So how often does your new friend drop by?

circe said...

I don't recall the last time I laughed so hard! AHHAHAHA

That was priceless, just priceless. Too bad I live in the country and people don't just wander down my street leaving me in awe of their ensembles. But, the next time a stolen car is abandoned on the other side of my road right across from the driveway, I promise to snap a pic of it and post it!
:)

alissa said...

Now what would you have done if you didn't have that new little digital camera of yours?

Thanks for showing us a day in the life...

Gary said...

Great post. Very Creative. That's so sad, though. She must really have a hard life.

Anonymous said...

i love it! haha!
i was having a pretty crappy day and i havent smiled all day until i read your blog.. finally a blog i really enjoy reading =p yes, bless you and your camera. i am bookmarking you (and i hope you dont mind) and i am putting a link to you in my blog =p
GO YOU!