Thursday, January 12, 2006

Wax A Chump Like A Candle

I woke up this morning, my mind a flashback jukebox. I am apparently an amateur DJ in my head. A mix of Vanilla Ice's Ice Ice Baby and DJ Jazzy Jeff & the Fresh Prince's Parents Just Don't Understand plays on and on and on with snippets of Deee-Lite's Groove Is In the Heart. Particulary the "I couldn't ask for another" line.

Make that a bad amateur DJ.

Check out the hook while my DJ revolves it.

Does this ever happen to you? You are minding your own business when WHAM! (the band or the sound being struck by something- may it be inspiration or a heavy object), you are singing some random song, mixed with a church hymn, an old commerical and the theme song to The Facts of Life. "Amazing grace, how sweet the sound...the sound of silence...give a hoot, don't pollute...you take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have, the facts of life!"

Maybe it's just me. . .

My supperdish, my succotash wish (sing it baby)

I seem to retain meaningless trivia and the lyrics to the lamest songs. I have found myself, say, at Longs (because we all know I take the Longs way home too often) standing in the aisle and a very cheesy, very embarassing love ballad will play. As I stand there inspecting the array of mascaras (come on, are all those different choices really any different from one another?!) I will start to hum along. After a few warm up bars, I'm in it, singing out

"
You were my strength when I was weak/ You were my voice when I couldn't speak/ You were my eyes when I couldn't see/ You saw the best there was in me/ Lifted me up when I couldn't reach/ You gave me faith 'coz you believed/ I'm everything I am/ Because you loved me."

It's just not right. There has to be a cure. Celine Dion! I'd rather pull my eyelashes out one by one than know one of her songs.

Will it ever stop. Yo- I don't know

Tell me, because let's face it- this kind of misery likes company, what songs/jingles/theme songs get stuck in your head? Share your torture.

Word to your mother!

19 comments:

sandra said...

I see your "Parents Just Don't Understand" and raise you a "You Saw My Blinker, Bitch" -- which I actually listened to yesterday, in its entirety.

I think you'd make a fabulous DJ, in a very "oh my god, get these songs OUT OF MY HEAD" sort of way. :)

gronce said...

I've had "Sunshine Day" by the Brady Kids (Brady Bunch) stuck in my head for a couple of weeks. Make it stop!

circe said...

I shudder every morning to think what song is going to be wreaking havoc and pounding in my brain as I jump in the shower. I don't necessarily combine songs, but it will be something totally stupid and out of the blue.......

Mrs. Ca said...

Happens to me all the time. My friend and I found out the other day that we both know Ice Ice Baby in its entirety and rapped it together to our respective signficant others. There may have been copious amounts of alcohol involved.

sue said...

I'm very open to suggestions. Someone says they can't get some stupid commercial jingle out of their head and ZAP! There it is... in mine for the duration, until something else comes along. Doesn't matter if it's good or bad, it's there to stay.

Oh, and thanks for all the suggestions today...aaarrrggghhh!

Lushy said...

Hava Nagila. It.never.goes.away.
During the brief respite that it does go away, I usually have Baby Elephant Walk, Music Box Dancer or Don't Stop Believing in my head. I'm a tortured soul.

erin said...

I have this horrible memory for song lyrics. Friends will turn on the radio and even if I don't know the name of the song or artist, I will start singing along. Just a few weeks ago, my roommate & I were in the car and listening to some horribly awful early 90s love song (it was a smooth jazz-esqe song). And I instantly started crooning in the car. My roommate was floored that I actually knew the words.

Bob Merrick said...

The absolute worst song on the planet is Kokomo by the Beach Boys. Not only is it an obnoxious song, but after only one bar of it, it spins in my mind for hours... it is TORTURE!

Nihilistic said...

If its truly awful it will get stuck in my head! Some of the awful nature will make me like it for some reason..."Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl" I sing that at least 20 times a day everyday. OH and by the way...Celine is in my head for the day now!

Bob Merrick said...

While we are on the subject, I would like everyone to know Sizzle's absolutel least favorite song, should you ever want to torture her more than just a trip down to Kokomo... it's Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons:

BIG GIRLS DON'T CRY

oh the memories...

Sizzle said...

damn you Tomato!

daaaamn yooooou....

Lushy said...

They don't cry-aye-aye. They don't cry.

Kilt Trip said...

Happens to me all the time Sizz, but I think it's a given in my case. Irish folk songs follow a standard beat for the most part, and when you're plastered, anything sounds good...

Mr_Rodacre said...

I used to whistle the "Pirates of the Carribean" song "Yo Ho, Yo Ho, A Pirates Life For Me" and mix it with the Irish Spring tune the guy would whistle in the commercials. Replete with wolf-whistle...

Rabbit said...

I just had a horrible song stuck in my head for a good week. It was TORTURE! In fact, the song was SO bad that I can't even remember which one it was now. It's become a repressed memory so I can actually continue on with life.

Jenster said...

Happens to me ALL OF THE TIME. I don't mix my songs and tunes, but the most random things will bring them on. It's usually just some random object or word said, and boom! I can't see a can of Coke without singing "I'd like to teach the world to sing...". The other day, someone announced they were going to use the bathroom. Boom! "Gotta go, gotta go, gotta go right now" came flying out of my mouth. I have no idea how to make it stop.

Moonchild said...

Today is was....

B-A-N-A-N-A-S....You ain't no Hollaback girl....

All day long...

Her Daddy's Eyes said...

ROFLMAO! This post is GREAT! God, I hate that...

My mind is blank for all else at the moment as I can only think of Deee-Lite's video and those platform shoes.

I seem to always get Usher's crap in my head. Or Missy Elliot. YUCK!

"Make me lose control.......in the club with my homies.....I got a cute face, chubby waist....yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah...."

Shoot me now!

Melissa said...

Capris cut low so when you shake it I see your thong...shake that thing miss annabella shake that thing...and when I think about you I touch myself...

No, I have no idea how that particular mix got thrown in there.