Wednesday, January 25, 2006

The Four C's

A couple of years ago, I had be-friended a co-worker who lacked self-confidence when it came to dating. She had been with a female partner for a few years and had recently decided that she was ready to date. To date boys. Boys are a whole different ballgame than girls in my opinion. She looked to me for wisdom. And while internet dating sure can teach a girl a thing or two, I in no way considered myself an "expert."

Before undertaking her tutelage, I gave dating some serious thought. What does it take to enter into the dating game? And how, with all the intricacies and nuances, can one succeed? How can a relatively shy, inexperienced girl wow and woo the boy of her dreams?

I came up with The Four C's: Clarity. Confidence. Color. Cleavage. No girl should ever leave home without them.

Clarity: You must first be clear with yourself about your intent. Are you looking to shag or to find a meaningfully deep emotional connection? Do you have certain absolutes that would rule a potential suitor out of the game? Think these things through now, not after you are weeks into a relationship. Clarity counts for a lot in the pursuit of love.

Confidence: The motto being- "Fake it 'til you make it." If you don't have confidence, act as though you do. It will keep you on the right path. Begin by being positive. Believe you are worthy. Exude it. None of this coy crap. Love who you are and share it with your suitor. Confidence is sexy. Find the balance between bragging and sharing your strengths.

Color: Too many girls fall victim to the "black is slimming" mentality. Maybe that illusion works on some but do you really want to blend into the night? Do you really want to look like the last three girls he dated? No! Wear some color damn it. Red. Purple. Turquoise. Don't be afraid to be seen. Express your unique self.

Cleavage: If you've got it, flaunt it. Just don't let it all hang out so there is nothing left for the boy's imagination. If you are less endowed, no worries. Two words: Wonder. Bra. If you don't feel comfortable with baring your rack, work another asset. Like your legs? Great! Wear a skirt. Love your arms? Great! Sleeveless tops are your new best friend. Whatever you do, embrace the body you are in and play up your winning attributes. No man likes to hear a girl go on and on about how fat and/or ugly she is. Remember confidence? Work it.

My coworker. . . guess what became of her? The boy she was so excited about has been her boyfriend for two years. Yes, indeed, the Four C's work like magic.

27 comments:

Amanda said...

That was great! Love it! :)

alissa said...

I wish I had known you when I dove into the dating world again! Great tips!

Moonchild said...

I just started wearing shirts to show off my boobies and have added color too. Last Thursday at men's city league, I wore a pink shirt with a bit of glitter on it...not my normal thing to do and and had a very low cut slit like thing and didn't realize my boobies cleavage area could be seen so well. I had more attention THAT night than all of the other 4 years....last night I let loose of being truly myself and visited freely with guys standing around waiting for the game to start and laughed really hard and showed my smile a lot to the guys playings and the refs...more action at my table in years.... I just emailed your link to many of my girl friends who don't blog to let them also live by your four C's.... awesome post!!! Thursday for my Crush, I'll be wearing my red lacy bra and a V neck shirt....dammit. I will not end up a school marm. God Bless you Sizzle for this post.

Melissa said...

Va Va Va Voom!!!

I love this! I've been shopping more lately for clothes that make me feel ohhhh so very.

Lizzie said...

I definitely fall victim to the "black is slimming" mentality. The best I can do is a colorful necklace. I need to work on that.

I think you're definitely right about clarity. I always jump in relationships because I get caught up in a moment. Then, when there are real feelings involved, only then do I stop to ask myself what I really want. I can lead to a huge mess...

Great list!

Mrs. Ca said...

Hmmm...well, I know I have the 4th C working for me. Plenty of cleavage. In fact too much. I wish I could donate it to those less endowed. And, when I met my husband, I actually had to do a load of red laundry because I had so much of it. So I had the color one too. With the clarity? I just know I wanted to spend time with him, and confidence? Eh, not so much. 3 out of 4 isn't too bad I guess.

Good theory!

Lushy said...

I don't know about the other C's, but cleavage I've got!

:)

HighMaintenanceHussy said...

Wow...this sounds just like a conversation my girlfriends and I could be having over coffee...well done, sassy sizz! :)

sandra said...

"classy cleave" is the way me and my roommate put it...

circe said...

Excellent list, Sizz.......very good advice. :)

Sizzle said...

i love that ALL women have chimed in. maybe i should start an advice column?

Nihilistic said...

You should start an advice column! So what are the four C's for a gay man?

Jenny said...

hey... i recognize that cleavage! :)

Sizzle said...

shhhhh jen! ;)

gay man's four c's? now that is something to think about. i will get back to you stacy. hold me to it.

Jenster said...

That is some damn good advice! I have the color and clarity down, no problem. The confidence, I'm working on. The cleavage? Well, let just say I'm mighty jealous of yours! :)

gorillabuns said...

nice cleavage! good list-all rules should apply, though i'm guilty of all black clothing. nothing is worse when the blacks don't match.

Mr_Rodacre said...

mmmmm... cleavage...

it is true... we are all suckers for it...

even if we claim we aren't.

and yes, that cleavage DOES look familiar...

hmmm.

Mikey said...

Can you and I get together and figure out the last of the four C's for gay men. I know crotch, chest, chiselled Abs, and? LOL

Neil said...

I think the same ideas pretty much work for men looking to meet women, except the cleavage, of course.

Bill said...

At the risk of sounding cynical, perhaps for men the cleavage could be replaced by ... money?

It's a depressing thought but it seems to work, at least in the short term.

Mr_Rodacre said...

hey bill - howabout "Cash"? heh heh =)

goldmoon said...

Yes, but what do you do if you HAVE no cleavage?? Share your wisdom with me on that!

Bill said...

Cash! Duh! How could I have missed that? Definitely - cash!

ocg said...

I love this Sizz!

Words of wisdom that should be handed down for generations to come!!!

Krisco said...

This is awesome advice!

I wish I'd had it back when.

D'Andre said...

Nice post and even more wonderful "cleavage". At this point, I am gonna have to go with Bill and Mr. Rodacre; "Cash"... Who am I foolin', bring on the CLEAVAGE!!!

sue said...

I think you hit this right on the head! Now, let's get this working for YOU, sweetie!