100 Things

1. I have worn glasses since I was 5.
2. I am a crossword junkie.
3. I can put my foot in my mouth- literally and figuratively.
4. I like my feet. They are pretty.
5. My fingers are double jointed which generally freaks people out.
6. The first time I ate sushi I was 24.
7. Sushi is my favorite food now.
8. Red wine makes my nose stuffed up.
9. I am horribly bad at relaxing.
10. I think I might be Type A.
11. I once hit a car in a parking lot and drove to the other side of the lot to park so no one would find out.
12. I didn't leave a note.
13. I still feel bad.
14. I am prone to serious pangs of guilt.
15. I blame Catholicism.
16. I went to Catholic school for 13 years. Wore a uniform and everything.
17. Except for one quarter at a public school my Freshman year. I hated public school.
18. I don't know how to ski.
19. I am deathly afraid of heights and have experienced vertigo.
20. My whole life I have been told "You have such a pretty face. . ." and I have always believed the end of that sentence is "too bad you are fat." I've always been chubby.
21. I walked 13 miles in the San Diego Walk & Roll Marathon.
22. I thought I would never make it. But I did.
23. I've always wanted to be an athlete.
24. More than that though, I have always wanted to be a singer. I used to practice singing onto a cassette recorder to hear myself.
25. I get very, very nervous at karaoke. That is why I am usually drunk when I do it.
26. I am about 89% sure I am vain.
27. I prefer Ella over Billie.
28. I love Jazz.
29. I say I don't want to get married but secretly, I want someone to want to marry me.
30. I am afraid of disappointing people.
31. I had a mini-nervous breakdown when I turned 30.
32. I am still learning how to receive love.
33. My dad was an alcoholic. He tried to quit but it didn't stick.
34. I used to search the house for the hidden bottles of alcohol and then dump them all out in the sink. Then I would line them up on the kitchen counter for him to find. He would take them to the trash but he never spoke to me about it.
35. I am deeply afraid of betrayal. Of people promising me something important and not fulfilling it. Of love not being enough.
36. I miss my dad all the time.
37. He died when I was 19.
38. I worry about bringing people down with too much seriousness. I think that is why I like to make people laugh.
39. My younger sister is my best friend.
40. I used to say I was adopted but really I just wanted attention. I thought everyone loved her more.
41. She is a gifted photographer.
42. My mom is a very generous, headstrong and resilient woman.
43. She and I are very much alike so sometimes we don't get along.
44. I admire her more than I could ever tell her.
45. As a kid, I wanted to be a cheerleader, then a vet, then a therapist, then a writer. Now, I just work at a non-profit and am not sure what I should be doing with my life.
46. I swear a lot. Like a sailor.
47. I would classify myself as a "broad" not a "lady." (see #46)
48. I have a tattoo but I don't like it.
49. My real first name is an Irish last name.
50. I have really straight teeth thanks to years of orthodontia. I was supposed to wear head gear but I would always throw it off in the midst of sleep only to awake to find it flung across the room.
51. I still love my ex. This is very problematic since he has a new girlfriend and they live together.
52. I am afraid of commitment because I don't want to fail.
53. I am a klutz.
54. I have a lot of gray hair that I cover up with a good dye job.
55. I liked high school.
56. I was the Vice President of my school my Senior year.
57. For my speech I changed the words to "New York, New York" sung by Frank Sinatra. I danced and sang in front of the entire school.
58. My first boyfriend is gay.
59. He is one of my best friends.
60. Go figure.
61. I like porn and erotica.
62. I think being sexy has more to do with inner beauty than outer.
63. I am a very affectionate person and a fantastic hugger.
64. But an even better kisser.
65. I type very fast and with all my fingers on the correct keys.
66. I will admit that I am not the best driver.
67. That has nothing to do with me being female.
68. I graduated with a B.A. in Women's Studies and a minor in Literature.
69. I am a certified Women's Self-defense Instructor.
70. I can and will kick your ass if so provoked.
71. I am a fierce defender of underdogs.
72. I write poetry.
73. I will never be as good as e.e. cummings.
74. I would like to have a famous quote. Like someday when I am old or dead, I will be remembered for something wise I said.
75. I think leaving a legacy is important.
76. I am only living up to about 69% of my potential.
77. I let the bad attitudes of others negatively influence my life.
78. I really want to meditate but I don't have the patience.
79. In typical Aries fashion, I am incredibly impatient. (And impetuous.)
80. Why is this list taking so long?
81. See? Exactly what I was saying in #79.
82. I filed for bankruptcy a few years ago.
83. I am still a bit embarassed about that.
84. I worry that if blog friends ever met me in person, they wouldn't like me as much.
85. My grandmother was a big worrier. I think I inherited that from her.
86. My first car was a cherry red 1966 Ford Mustang.
87. I had a lot of sex in it.
88. I think pickles are gross. I refuse to eat them.
89. I enjoy doing the dishes but I hate taking out the trash.
90. I think that means I will make a good wife. Ha! ;)
91. I want to be a mom. A really, really good one.
92. I will probably adopt or be a foster parent.
93. I actually really like who I am.
94. Ok, I love who I am. Perfectly flawed I call it.
95. I can't drink coffee. It makes me tired.
96. I love stormy weather.
97. Slow dancing is incredibly romantic to me.
98. I remember my parents slow dancing together when I was a kid.
99. I hope there is a lot of slow dancing in my future.
100. To fully live an authentic existence, you cannot let fear rule. Taking the risk to be vulnerable or bold is worth any momentary feelings of discomfort. Love who you are enough to be who you are in all its complexity. (That's my mantra for 2006.)