Sunday, November 06, 2005

Poor Imitations of the Real Thing

For the record, fat free/sugar free pudding is NOT as good as the original. Nor is lite cool whip as good as real whipped cream. Graham crackers are not as good as chocolate chip cookies. Sorbet is not as good as Ben & Jerry's.

Just in case there was any confusion.

These subsitutes just aren't cutting it. Lack of chocolate coupled with, uh, no coupling, is making Ms. Sizzle one Ms. Fizzle.

Somethings gotta give...

11 comments:

goldmoon said...

Mmmm, whipped cream. Especially out of the can. Just squirting it right in your mouth...I'm not making things better for you, am I?

Bill said...

I can't speak to the coupling business because it's been so long I no longer know what it refers to, but as to the issue of tasty treats ...

Do it, or don't. None of this make-believe stuff where you eat these things and pretend you are watching your diet. Do it, or don't. And if you do it, go all the way. Bury your face in chocolate and prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

As for "lite cool whip" ... Only a barbarian would even let the thought cross their mind. As the song says, in a different context, "Whip it good!"

(If you're going to do dairy, do it in a big way.)

Krisco said...

Isn't that what old boyfriends are for?

Neil said...

I agree with you, but if I can do a rare product placement here -- Dreyer's Slow-Churned Low Fat ice cream is pretty close to the real stuff. (it goes by the name of Edy's in the East). But it still won't substitute for real coupling.

Melissa said...

Get coupled... if the coupling is really satisfying - in that toe curling, eyes roll back in the head kind of way - then the sweet treats won't even be a blip on the radar...

So pass me some sugar, sugar...

Alissa said...

I never really understood substituting chocolate for coupling. There is really no comparison. I suggest spending and evening with a group of people in boring marriages and thanking your stars you're not in their place!

Lushy said...

No retreads. I repeat, no retreads! Trust me!

The only lower calorie treat that I've found to be completely acceptable is my own version of death by chocolate: Take one bag of the 100 calorie oreo crisps and crush the hell out of it. Sprinkle the crumbs into a bowl. Scoop some Dreyers low calorie rocky road ice cream into the bowl. Drizzle some hershey's chocolate syrup, or even better, Magic Shell, if you can find it and dig in. Yummy. Now I need to go to the store!

Her Daddy's Eyes said...

Boo...no fat free crap...

Damn, now I want a cookie!

circe said...

I totally agree with you. Also, fat free salad dressing is nasty.......

sue said...

...and the sugar free ice cream bars just suck. Big time. That's all I'm sayin'...

Mr_Rodacre said...

yeah! What Krisco said!