Monday, October 24, 2005

The O Factor


Dear Oprah,

I was reading your O Magazine last night when I came across the O List. You know, that list of things "you think are just great." Yeah, that list. There were many pretty items, none of which I could ever afford. A travel bag for $565!? Who do you think your readership is? Most of the women who tune into your show or buy your magazine are not rich. Far from it. They are middle or lower class women seeking inspiration in you. They adore you and yet, you seem so disconnected from them. Is that the mark of a worthy leader? Where is the lovable Fat Oprah? She would never have done this.

I used to be one of your adoring fans. Back in college, you and Bob Greene launched "Get Moving with Oprah." And I did. And it worked. For a few years. Then I fell off the wagon. But by then, you had won your battle with your weight and had changed. Yes, you look great. Yes, we all see you on every cover of your narcissistic magazine. But you know what? I miss Fat Oprah. She seemed to get "the people." She was one of them instead of pandering to them.

I am disappointed in you, Oprah. Sure, you are generous with your money. You should be- as one of the richest women in America. It is your duty to give back. The kids in Africa or from the Hurricane Katrina disaster sure did like it when you visited and brought them lots of toys and things. That was nice of you. And when you gave away those cars on your show- the audience went ballistic. Now everyone wants to come to your show in hopes of getting some cool free stuff. You also got America reading again. That is commendable. Really, I am impressed.

But I am worried you might be getting too big for your britches. And with all that weight loss, your britches are a much smaller size now. This is not a good thing. Your interview with Charlize Theron really made me wonder if you are an egomaniac. Surely such a person wouldn't be close friends with Maya Angelou. I trust Maya Angelou. You must be good people if you are in with her. But then why do you say stupid things when you interview people? Do you really think you have all the answers? How sad.

This month, the thing you "know for sure" is that "as long as we play the 'us and them' game, we don't evolve as a nation, as a planet." I hope you REALLY know that for sure. Now how about you put some heavy ladies in your fashion spreads and list some items real people could actually afford. That'd go a long way to separating the divide of us and them. Remember, use your life. Get in touch with your divine purpose. And don't forget to floss.

Sincerely,

Sizzle

18 comments:

Jenny said...

you should email that to her! seriously Sizzle, that fuckin' rocked!

next on Oprah: Sizzle, the blogger who got honest with Oprah and Oprah listened...

Moonchild said...

I'd email it to her too.
I quit liking her and watching her show about 10 years ago. I accidently saw a show about a month ago and couldn't BELIEVE how almost snotty she was to the guest and she really DOES THINK she's hot shit. I like to watch ELLEN because she's funny and she knows she is clumsy and she does good things to others and she's just an Average JoAnn type of celebrity. And she has her mom on all of her shows too.

I'd definately send the email. Doubtful she will read it but I'd still get the satisfaction that you told her something she probably already knows but doesn't want to admit it.

Wombat & Aspen said...

Ms S -

I wonder at the Oprah-spawned phenomenon of looking upon her as a saviour.

Instead of gifting cars, and giving people false hope that they might win the Op-lottery, shouldn't she be saying that the real road to success is to work hard, get educated and save money for what you want?

Maybe I've answered my own question; perhaps she likes being seen as the goddess/queen?


Wombat

Mo-Pie said...

Dear Ms. Sizzle,

I have just read your letter, and it made me think... How is it that I have forgotten what really matters in this life? While I have enjoyed where my life has taken me, I know that I have forgotten what it is to actually be a good Icon for America.

Thank you for inspiring me to change my ways... and to opening my eyes to how people really feel about what it is that I do and say on my wonderful show.

It is a wonderful show though, isn't it?

Damn it, even now I can't get over how this show has taken over my life. I am truly sorry, but this is the way I feel and there ain't nottin ya’ll can do about it. Sure, I might throw a couple of one to two hundred dollar suggestions out there in my O magazine for all of you lower class swine. But don't expect me to change my life just because I am the best and you ain't.

I hope this doesn't change the way you feel about me. I am just being the Most Powerful Woman in America that I can be.

Would it help if I gave you a brand new car?

Most Sincerely,

O

Bill said...

O my. (Yes, pun intended.) I'm glad to see I'm not alone in thinking the Oprah thing seems directed at what Kurt Vonnegut would call "the fabulously well-to-do." For me, it's not so much how costly it all seems but how incredibly focused it seems to be on material things. It borders on gauche ... conspicuous consumption.

There is a strange paradox in the Oprah shows I see - spiritual and superficial at the same time. I think that's because the so-called spiritual focus is superficial - it's more sentimental than genuine.

At least that's how it comes across.

I actually think Oprah is one kick-ass woman. I greatly admire her. But I also suspect that within that powerful woman there is also an insecure one and the material focus is an aspect of this. ("I must be okay - look at all the shit I've got!")

I think she may just need someone to, as the expression goes, take the mickey out of her. Meaning someone needs to say to her (in a nice way), "O, babe, you're just so full of shit. Time for a reality check."

I once saw a show where she was showing America's women what "average guys" were like - yeah, average for freakin' GQ! Any woman watching that show would end up sadly disappointed when they found out these clowns were about as representative of average guys as Nicole Kidman is of average women.

Anyway ... yes, e-mail it. Let O know! Time to get back to earth.

kim e said...

A-Men.

Neil said...

And I don't know how Oprah gets away with acting like she's just a regular ol' gal, just like her audience. And they buy it. I recently saw some guest talking about all these gift bags celebrities get at the Oscars and Oprah was just shocked! My God! And this from the woman who threw a tantrum when she didn't get into Hermes.

Lushy said...

Thank you, thank you, thank you for saying what I've been thinking about Oprah. My friends would ostracize me if I said that out loud.

Bob Merrick said...

Or... we can all just remember that Oprah is merely an entertainer and not the saviour that everyone likes to pretend she is. She is a poor black woman who has made good on her life. How about instead of judging her for what she is doing wrong with her life, we focus on living ours as best as we can.

If you don't like her talk show, change the channel, or even better, go out and get your own show and see how much better you can do under the spotlight.

Sizzle said...

listen to you tomato. . . i thought you were the eptiome of "if you've got nothing nice to say about anyone, come sit by me." hee hee. and here you go taking the high road. ;)

i agree with you to some extent.

when are you getting that talk show?

:) sizz

Anonymous said...

Misery loves company as we all do. Once that company is gone, we can't help but be bitter. You can't fault Oprah for not wanting to sit around and be fat just because everyone else is. She is supposed to inspire you and motivate you. Not by what she says, but by what she has done.

Otherwise, you have some valid points.

Emily

sue said...

You brought up some good points, Siz... Personally I think she's probably a very lonely person. I know I would be with her life.

Krisco said...

Here, here. I have often thought the same thing about those favorite things. They would be my favorite things too if I could ever afford any of them.

I don't get to watch the show much (ok, ever) so I was still thinking she's out there helping people. I take it back, I DID see snippets last week that made me cry, about helping put psychos behind bars. I did like that part.

But you have opened my eyes and I will be a little less all-Oprah-is-all-good next time (if ever) I get to see her show.

And oh my god the word verification on this comment is so hard I might just miss it on purpose and try to get a bettter one...(all hs and ks in curly script, and like twenty of them, in random order (of course...))

...ha! see? i couldn't even do it right. But this one looks easier I'll try again...

kim e said...

Tomato, I admire you for going against the group and sticking up for Miss O. You have good points but I don't agree with everything you say.

No, Oprah isn't the Messiah or the all-knowing leader of The Weary And Down-Trodden Housewife but that's her marketing scpiel. Pardon us for being offended. And yes, I do exercise my right to change the channel 9 times out of 10.

kim e said...

"scpiel"??

Spiel *sigh*

Anonymous said...

Oprah lover and skeptic Jules clapps her fool hands off for you tonight.

sue said...

I think ya got the masses stirred up here, Siz... :)

Melissa said...

I love how much good O does, she's wonderful that way. However, she has bought into her own public image and lost her private personality, which is tragic. That is where the "who does she think she is?!?!" comes in.

Normally I'm at work when O is on, but I skived off one afternoon and saw her show concerning the new movie "Crash". She was mighty selfrighteous when she was criticizing Don Chedall and Ludacris for using the N word. Each time they attempted to explain their view on the word itself and their use of it she did everything put stick her fingers in her ears and go "na na na I'm not listening."

So, Ms. O - keep up the really beautiful humanitarian works that you do and lose the sanctimony.

Again, Ms. Sizzle, another good read.