I Can't Get a Read

I had a date on Sunday. I know, in the midst of my "mini-life crisis" I go on a date. I figured a little distraction couldn't hurt. Could it?

He's funny in a dry, witty, understated kind of way. He's slim which is usually not the type I go for. I tend to like the husky boys. He's attractive in an Adrian Brody kind of way (yes, Supple, I know. Please cease your drooling.) He's got style and cute glasses. He's wicked smart. He reads books. He's really, really into music.

And he is really quiet.

It was unnerving.

I just don't think that there should be lulls in conversation on a first date. Sure, if you've been seeing one another for a couple months, those gaps will happen. I also don't think you need to talk every single second. But there has got to be a happy medium, right? Right?

I think I overcompensated. He asked me if I was nervous. I am not a nervous dater. I don't get all fidgety or giggly or quiet. But I was so unnerved by his cool, calm and collected demeanor I think I spazzed out. I tried to be cool and let the silences sit there. And sit there. And then I would inevitably say something. I was bursting at the seams to speak. Argh.

I couldn't read him at all and I pride myself on being perceptive. He's a mystery to me. I couldn't even read if he was into me or not but the night kept going on and he wasn't making a move to end it so I figured that meant he enjoyed my company. He didn't compliment me once which was strange. When you first meet a person, in my experience, you exchange compliments throughout the first date night. That was absent.

Dating is so weird. Seriously. I don't know how I did it years ago when I had my raging dating period. Maybe it's that in my 30's I have a better sense of myself and of what I am looking for. Maybe I have a better radar for bullshit. I certainly feel that I can tell if I should go on another date with someone within about the first hour of the first date.

But with this guy, whom Mr. Rodacre calls "Mr. Sub Dude", I am confused. It wasn't as though I had a bad time. But I don't like that I felt insecure and awkward. Was I too fat? Was he thinking my outfit was stupid? Were my stories endearing or annoying? Was my semi-spaziness cute or grounds for dismissal?

But then he called me the next day to say hi. So I guess he is still interested? But am I? I'm a wee bit conflicted. I don't know what to do with this fella. He's a slow simmer kind of guy whereas I am a quick to boil kind of broad. Can these two types make a go of it? I suppose it is a bit too premature to decide that.

Post Script: I told him how I felt about some of the awkwardness and now we are going to be "friends". Yeah, right. I guess that answers my question.