Saturday, August 27, 2005

Fun, Dysfunctional Style

Aren't all families dysfunctional in one way or another? I hope the answer to that question is a firm, unequivocal yes. Or else, the delusions I have been living under just fell on top of me. And now I am squished.

Today is our annual family picnic. We aren't talking a small gathering neither. My mother is the oldest girl of 6. Those Irish Catholics sure do like to procreate even if they don't want to talk about how babies are made. Shhhh.

The entire clan will be there sans my sister and her husband (the Seattlites), two cousins that we've hardly seen since my uncle and his first wife split, the on again/off again drug addict/teen mom cousin and the uncle by marriage that we've not had a glimpse of in, oh, six years. We tease my aunt that he is buried in their backyard. But really, he just doesn't like our family. And for that, he can stay home.

I mean, what is not to love about us? Aunts, uncles, cousins, babies, drunks, loud mouths, comedians, pranksters, neurotics, type A's, potheads, overachievers, snobs, rich, poor, codependents- you name it, we've probably got it. Don't you wish you could come with me?

I do love my family- the entire rowdy bunch of them. I am incredibly lucky to have such a huge, loving family. Of course, when you are part of such a large, extended family, drama is likely to ensue, particularly when there are 4 sisters. I think for the most part they have grown up and let go of the petty childhood crap though, I can still pinpoint what role each member plays in the whole "child of an alcoholic" family tree. What can I say, some people are predictable.

I learned long ago to not bring any boy I am dating to these functions. It is too overwhelming for them. They get grilled by my aunts and teased by my uncles- mercilessly. Everyone talks at once. There is a lot of eating. There are dogs running crazy and kids laughing and screaming. It's chaos at its best. The next fella I bring to one of these functions will have already proven his mettle and hopefully can talk sports enough to keep up, be playful enough that kids and dogs like him and have the kind of manners that impress my mother.

If you know of any worthy candidates, please, by all means, tell them to look me up.

9 comments:

Lindsey said...

My family is the same way. Everyone is crazy..some in a good way...some 'touched' in the head. he he he. But you're right...I NEVER bring guys I'm dating to these things unless we've been together for a good while. Otherwise he may never want to date me again.

Mr_Rodacre said...

Sweetie, we already dated and you didn't take me... I could totally hold my own...

And yes, all families are dysfunctional... It's part of being family...

Trée said...

Your post shows wisdom beyond your years. We areall dyfunctional, only in different ways. And yes, never, ever bring a boyfriend to a family event. It's like throwing a pass in football. Three things can happen and two of them are bad---lol.

Sizzle said...

mr_rodacre: you wouldn't be able to deal with the sports talk. and didn't i bring you to a family picnic? i seem to remember a search for ketchup through a park...but then again, i am old and have dated too many people. my memory might fail me.

linny knows what i mean. she's got my back.

and tree knows about football...and i don't know about football passes. what is bad about two of the things that can happen?

Trée said...

LOL, first let me say I love your photo. Wonderful framing and interesting look. Good stuff.

Now in football, when the quarterback throws a pass the three things that can happen are: (1) receiver catches it--this is good; (2) receiver drops it--bad; (3) other team intercepts it--bad again. So, of the three things that can happen two bad, one good. Thanks for stopping by my blog and leaving a comment--very nice of you to do so. Sweet dreams. ;-)

Mr_Rodacre said...

Ketchup in the park... don't think that was me... and though the sports talk might throw me - I still say I could hold my own overall.

sue said...

Yes, yes and yes. Totally. Disfunctional. YES.

sue said...

I mean, dysfunctional. (Geez you even spelled it FOR me...)

mrsmogul said...

My mom used to be really into match making with my sister, THANK GOD she never did that with me! I think all families have skeletons in the closet..it makes it more interesting when you gossip :)