Wednesday, July 06, 2005

Getting the Red Out

One of my current favorite greeting cards says: "Sometimes you just need to take a nap and get over it." Thank you Maura Stuard, age 8. You are so very right.

I blame my lack of sleep for my current demise. Darling Dottie wakes me at 3am, 5am, and then an hour later at 6am. I am a light sleeper as it is but when you have a fur baby darting at your face and nipping at your fingers, even the most sound sleeper would be startled awake. I literally removed myself from my own bedroom and slept on the couch for an hour. It was that bad. I was that tired. I abandoned the mom post for some uninterrupted shut eye.

My fatigue coupled with my utter disinterest and annoyance with work is not making life very bareable. Things could be worse. They have been worse. Universe, here me now: I am not asking for you to test me. Please. Like Nell Carter so eloquently put it (God rest her soul), just give me a break.

I think the people who know me best know that I teeter on an emotional see-saw. That last post was not one of my highs. But I don't need to spell it out for you. Don't we all suffer from those ups and downs though? The ones who don't, I can't say I altogether trust. At least I admit I am neurotic, often overwrought, generally too sensitive and of course, fantastically flawed. I wear these parts of my personality like patches on my old Girl Scouts uniform. I earned these badges.

I do mean it though about being alone. I have been travelling the past two weekends and my over-booked social calendar, while exciting and fun, makes me weary at the thought of all that socializing. I need a regroup. A cabin near a lake with a stack of books, my favorite cds, no phone, no computer, no boys, no talking. I am quietly plotting to get there or in as close proximity as possible.

2 comments:

sue said...

You DESERVE a break! No guilt allowed! We all need those "alone" times... For me they are called "jammie days". No work (house or otherwise). No shower. Comfy clothes. A good book or movie or whatever floats your boat. Absolutely NO phone. You do whatever feels right for that one day. On a diet? Fuggetaboutit. This is YOUR day.

Oh, and the kits will get over it - trust me. I have four (grown) and they do get to the point they just cuddle nicely at night and not wake up Mom.

Anonymous said...

wallow in it - sometimes wallowing is the best thing.

feel better when you're ready to do so, and don't let anyone tell you when that is.

Oh, and I have to agree with the champaigne and bath remedy, but i'd add some nice heavy blues and a victorian novel to the recipe.

see ya on the other side,

jules