Thursday, June 02, 2005

Hanging Together by Threads

Work is not okay. People are unhappy. There is a lack of trust that permeates the air and makes the camaraderie that once flourished here, sour and stink. I don't know what to do. I feel the weight of it, the weight of wanting to make this better but not having a clue what to do. Will time shift this? Would mediation work? How will anyone feel safe enough to speak what is truly on their minds? The silence says so much but doesn't do a damn thing to change our reality.

I hate not knowing what to do. I hate hearing that people I value and respect are looking for new jobs. I hate seeing people give up or come to a job they no longer enjoy. It is hard enough work without this. Even if we all spoke our truth, would it matter?

And in the midst of holding everyone else's frustrations and worries, there are my own. I am one of the few who did not get the raise they were promised. After three years here, I am the lowest paid Director. I was told what my job would be a year ago, without any real discussion. I am starting to believe I am not working in the capacity that is best suited for my talents and strengths. I am not sure what to do next but something brews inside me.


Anonymous said...

wow send this Blogg to the Board and something will happen. They need to know they are about to lose all their valued employees. They also need to know their decision to hire the group from Arizona has totally changed the environment of SCAP and the well being of the loyal staff.

Tonawanda Kardex said...

Cute new photo. :)

Also, yes. Don't let someone undervalue YOU. In your professional life as well as your personal life.

Anonymous said...

i've written five different comments here, erasing each one before hitting the "publish" button...because this very struggle has sat in my belly like a heavy stone for weeks. I wish i had something more worthy to say.

kim e said...

I'm so sorry you're being undervalued and makes for a lot of unhappiness. Remember though, it's never worth it to stay in a job you dislike. Would you rather look back in 5 years and say 'leaving that place was the best thing I ever did'...or...'damn, I should have left that place years ago!'.

I've been lurking on your blog for a bit now and think you're lovely. You should find your career mojo; you deserve it.

sue said...

aw...damn! I hate when that happens. Been there, done that. It is NOT a happy feeling. So sorry, Sizzle... you deserve much better.

Sizzle said...

thanks for all the support!