Tuesday, May 10, 2005

Sweet Vindication

This is not my proudest moment. I am sitting here feeling vindicated because of someone else's sad, pathetic life. That isn't usually how I live my life. I try not to judge, to compare, to put more value on one person's life over another’s. It's the bleeding heart liberal in me. Or my Catholic guilt. Either way, I am finding a scapegoat. ;)

So, I am browsing around on Yahoo Personals and low and behold, there is Mr. Grass. His pictures are completely unflattering. He even chose to include a photo of this stupid candelabrum he fashioned out of copper piping while high on marijuana. Only stoned people would like it. Seriously. I won't even go into the time he hauled it into the wine bar where I was enjoying myself with two gentleman (he was an hour late to meet me). There he was, in his paint-speckled, dirty-looking dishevelment, with atrocity in hand, asking how much he could sell it for. I had to get up and excuse myself to the restroom out of mortification.

But I digress.

His personal ad is incredibly amusing in the saddest way possible. I am almost tempted to cut and paste it here. Let's just say, it is a rambling mass of bullshit that only highlights my unbelievable luck at no longer having him in my life. Phew! I'm so glad he told me he "wouldn't know what to say" if someone might, maybe, someday, on the off chance, say something about my weight to him. Honey, please purchase a mirror and stare at it for one full hour and send me your apology c/o Go Fuck Yourself.

Ok so there is still some anger here...but it is slipping away even as I type. And trust me when I tell you, I will never wallow for days because of someone else's cruel projections. I have my head screwed on straight. Finally.

P.S. I wish they had an icebreaker on yahoo personals that said: "Hi. I am writing to tell you you are an idiot."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

wow. that guy does look a little worn out... i think your last bf was at least a bit more well-kept.

Sizzle said...

this is what they call: rebound.

Tonawanda Kardex said...

I love how he says he doesn't smoke in his ad.

I guess he can cover his ass with that whopper, because he thought they were talking about cigarettes! :P