Monday, May 23, 2005

Flying is for the Birds

Airplane travel is not my favorite mode of transportation. I don't like the way people line up in A, B or C an hour before the plane is boarded. It makes me feel anxious, like I should get in line, standing uncomfortably or sitting on my suitcase as the minutes tic by. I don't like how small the airplane seats are. I pray for no one to sit in the middle, or worse yet, that I don't get stuck in the middle. If you have broad shoulders, you understand my plight...the plight of the ample rack. I don't like feeling trapped in a germ-infested, confined space for two hours. And I especially do not like how everyone leaps up from their seats, even those in the far, far back to get out of the airplane. I understand the desire to bolt but logically, we aren't going to be exiting for some time so why not just remain seated?

The flight Thursday to Seattle was overbooked. And by that I mean, overbooked with a gaggle of teenage girls all from some group called the "Glenoak Vocal Chorale". How do I know this? Well, they all were wearing matching red polo shirts with that very name inscribed above their hearts. Awwww. No, really, it was sooooo loud on that flight. I heard more than I cared to about how these girls thought they were fat (when two of them could easily have shared one seat) and how so and so liked so and so. I had to turn my walkman volume WAY up.

On the return flight yesterday, I sat in front of a man who was very ill- I mean uncontrollable coughing fits where he would jab his knee into my back, repeatedly. I am pretty sure he was not just suffering from the flu. It was as if he was detoxing from some serious drugs or something. Either way, I felt covered in germs and promptly drank some Airborne. During my layover in Reno, I made friends with this nice man Tim. He had been sitting a seat away from the offending Cough Guy and so we had a laugh about that. Reno is so weird. People were gambling and I felt as though i was in some sort of casino purgatory. And the amount of fuglies lining the seats was just mind-bogling. At least Tim and I made the flight relatively painless by chatting it up. I am not one to chat it up with strangers on a plane but he was married and seemed harmless enough.

As wonderful as it was to spend good quality time with my dearest Hillz, I am happy to be home. . . with no airplane travel in sight for months. ;)


GiddyGirlie said...

middle seat SUCKS. I prefer the aisle, so that I can get up to pee whenever I want.

Ugh, the last time I flew, I had to sit next to a sweaty, smelly rabbi who smelled to High Heaven.

sue said...

Glad you're back!