Wednesday, September 20, 2006

My Pants Are Cranky

I've been cranky for days. And before you go there, no, it isn't that time of month. Hush now.

I wake up feeling . . . stressed. I guess that's what it is. Work is pretty overwhelming right now. I feel like I am toiling away and not crossing things off my list. I do not like that feeling. You know how I am about my lists. I'm finding it hard to balance my personal life with my work life with some me time. Or, actually, when I get me time I don't really relax into it thus rendering it not helpful at all.

Is it self-imposed perfectionism that is making me harried? Is the fact that friends are arriving for the weekend and my house still seems not up to snuff? (Would you get over it already Sizzle?) Am I pre-freaking out about sharing my time 24-7 with people? (That'd be typical.) Am I still feeling growing pains from the move? (Probably.) Am I overthinking about a potential love interest? (Totally, hello, this is me we are talking about.) Am I frustrated that no matter how much time I have in the day I still can't find the energy to call everyone back that I need to call back? (For sure.) Is it that I have been so pre-occupied with all of the above that I haven't been focused on my health and sanity? (Duh.)

Here's an example of something that bothers me: When I am talking to someone on the phone after a long day, wanting to connect and hear about their day and they spend most of the time interjecting explicatives at other drivers. And when they get around to asking how my day was? They promptly take the first opening to talk about themselves again making it appear that I am either a) a total bore or b) not saying anything that interests them enough to ask about it (a & b are the same thing essentially, right?). And when they arrive home and their other line rings they dump me for a call that maybe could have waited five minutes so I could just finish up my tale. AND when they call me back and I am telling them, finally, about something that upset me that day their only response is, "Gotcha."


No. That just won't do. I need more interaction than that. Should I just not expect that kind of listening and engagement from a man? I really don't want to believe that I can't but experience is teaching me that I might want to call up a girlfriend if I want to go deep. Sigh.


alissa said...

Yeah, I do think girls are better with that sort of thing most times. But not all girls! It's frustrating when you want to vent and the person you want to listen, doesn't.

Hang in there!

Alison said...

Oh, jeez, I can totally relate to all of this.

Mrs. Ca said...

I think I would be cranky after a phone call like that too! Sounds like you have a lot on your plate, and it all adds up fast, doesn't it? Hope you find a way to relax soon.

JustRun said...

I think it is annoying, not to mention rude, when someone consistently ignores what you're saying. That said, I think there is a pretty significant difference between what men and women have the capacity to take in at one time.
For instance, I have no problem driving and having a deep conversation about religion while making my grocery list in my head and also noticing that it's about to rain (yes, this has actually happened). However, I don't know many men that could or would even want to work like that.
I've gotten to the point where there are just certain conversations I prefer to have with my girlfriends... like any guy wants to hear about my gripes about not being able to find the right sports bra anyway.
I hope some of this makes sense.

Karl said...

Ugh. I'd NEVER behave that way on the phone with ANYONE, let alone someone I cared about. I don't take other calls when I'm on the phone with someone, unless I know it's really important and I'm already expecting the call. Even then, I make it a point to tell you, "Hey, just so you know, I'm waiting on an important call so I may have to get off the phone."

And I'd never listen to you and then follow it up with, "Gotcha."

I'd say, "Gotcha, Ms. Hot Crankypants!"

Melissa said...

Aye, Chica... It is that kind of week. Work is like walking through chest deep mud and it just keeps piling up.

Having that need to connect with someone met is vital. And after 34 years of trying I'm finding that making that daily "small stuff" connection with a man is nearly impossible.

One more time now... Be gentle with yourself, the rest of the world won't be.

Sarcomical said...

you most definitely SHOULD expect more interaction than that.


ocg said...

I have a few friends that I refuse to speak with while they are driving because of the fact that they just yell at other drivers (who cant hear them) the entire time,

I am sorry you are having a tough time.

Nihilistic said...

Ohhhhh...You can call me! ;)

Sizzle said...

nihilistic- you ARE a girlfriend. :)

ocg- thanks and welcome back to blogland!

sarcomical- thank you. you understand.

mel- right, gentle. i will try.

karl- well at least there is a compliment in there to distract me. ha.

justrun- makes perfect sense.

mrs. ca- it does all add up fast. right you are.

alison- i can't say i wish that upon you. ;)

alissa- ok not all guys. i was generalizing for dramatic purposes. hee hee.

Dustin said...

Hey perfectionism is underated and over-attempted.

I know what you mean about the lists thing though. My lists are my life.

Becky said...

I have to admit that I'm beginning to think you're my twin separated at birth. I know we're both Aries, so when exactly is your b-day?

I, too, often take my work home. I will go to bed wondering if I properly worded my e-mail to my boss or client and other stuff like that (among the things that are actually a big deal). A friend of mine told me that problem is that I can't seem to "disengage" so that I leave work at work. But at the same time, tha worrying, attention-to-detail side of me is a benefit in many other ways.

I'm sorry to hear about your phone call friend:(

sue said...

Yes, it sounds like all of the above... and I have no phone friends. In fact, I hate the phone. I tend to spout off at Hubs, my kids, and vent on the blog... or go kill something on WoW. However, if I HAD a phone friend, I would be totally frustrated with that level of conversation. I refuse to have call-waiting on my phone, and I will not hold for someone who leaves me to go "take another call". They can damn well call me back on their nickel when they feel I'm worth it. Oh, did I mention I have no phone friends? *sigh*

Hang in there, Siz... some day it is going to all level out. I promise.