Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Moving On Up

Yesterday my long-awaited cubicle was released to me. The very nice girl who had occupied it this past month worked her final day, said her good-byes and packed up her few pictures and belongings and went home to Kansas. It'd been about 30 minutes since she had left the building when my supervisor popped over to my desk and asked if I was going to move my stuff into my new office space. I thought I should maybe wait until the next day, you know, give the proper time of mourning for all of those who were close to the Kansas girl. I didn't want to seem rude in my eagerness to finally have ample space to store all my files. My supervisor encouraged me to move right then- she even helped me carry my stacks of files over.

The former supervisor of Kansas Girl walked by while we were unloading the stuff and said, "Couldn't even wait for her seat to get cold, huh?" WTF!? Even if that was supposed to be funny, that's rude. I've been working out in an open bull pen of cubicles with no space, no privacy, no adequate storage or locked files and I am supposed to wait to move into what should have been my cubicle all along? F That. Luckily my supervisor stood up for me. Score one for our team!

So it was about 5:30 and the office was pretty much cleared out but I was still there organizing my new space and setting up my computer when the uber annoying grannylovingpaininmyass came back to work. She walked up to the cubicle entrance and said, "What are you doing in (Kansas Girl's) cubicle?" She says it all sweet and sugary too which pissed me off double. I turned, looked her in the eye and smiled through my rage. "(Kansas Girl) left. She turned the cubicle over to me." What I wanted to say? Fuck Off! Why are you so horrible? Why am I tested day in and day out by your existence? And why oh why do you have to sit so close to me!? Can't you go work on the other side of the building or something?

But I kept the anger inside and smiled. I'm gonna kill her with kindness.

I'm thinking about having a cubicle warming party tomorrow to really welcome everyone (except her) into my new work space. What do you think? Jello shots for everyone! Music and dancing! Maybe even a "door" prize. You don't technically have to have a door to give one away, right?

18 comments:

Lushy said...

Jello shots are always a good idea!

See how awesome you are? You are already sending people into fits of jealous snarkiness just by being the wonderful person you are. Poor woman just doesn't get it, and probably never will.

Bone said...

Free food is always good, too.

I think every place I've ever worked, there's been that one person whose mere absence brightens everyone else's day.

JustRun said...

If she thinks that's bad, wait till you hang up your giant poster of David Hasselhoff!

Ha! But wouldn't that be funny? :)

Melissa said...

Start a rousing game of hide and go seek with her stapler. Did I mention I'm passive aggressive?

Sizzle said...

just run- i am pretty sure she LOVES david. she's like that.

mel- you? never! ;)

bone- ha ha. indeed. :)

lushy- i love the way you think sistah.

Sarcomical said...

good god, WHAT is that lady's problem?

i say be very annoying about the cubicle but in a subversive way and yes, have your party but also? put your name on it everywhere. like "sizzle's crib", and "sizzle owns this joint", and a "ms. sizzle's cubicle, yo" plaque.

Claire said...

Congrats on the new digs. At last.

Maybe give your cubicle an age limit: No service to anyone born after 1981, proper ID required.

kapgar said...

I'm pretty sure ThinkGeek has a mesh screen door that can be pulled across cubicle openings. That might be a good way to justify "door prizes."

As for Bitchy McBitch, you can either kill her with kindness or with Crisco on the stairs. Your choice.

Dustin said...

Jello shots Fo'Sho!!!

As for buttinsky-granny-tard...killing her with kindness is all well and good, but a rear naked choke hold is also effective (sorry, I've been watching cage fighting in my lazy state of unemployment).

Alison said...

Glad you have a "home"!

snackiepoo said...

It's just a freaking cubicle, people. OMG, we totally would raid people before they left....we'd be over at their desks asking if they were going to take this or that so we could take it before it went back to the storage room. It was expected that the new person move in there tout suite!

I so want you to get a pic of the 20 year old granny girl for me, pleeeeeease?

Bre said...

Ugh. People need to get over themselves! I'm glad your supervisor stood up for you! once they get to know you better I'm sure they will be utterly charmed :)

Rabbit said...

"Couldn't even wait for her seat to get cold, huh?"

Nope, it's the only warmth I've felt all day.

sandra said...

You know what helps me? IMing mean things about annoying people to my friends. It's immature, but it really works wonders.

Gary said...

Sorry that painin the ass is back so soon. Instead of being angry at her, though, try to just feel sorry for her. You aren't the issue, she is. She is the one with the screwed up personality, she is.

Another trick I have learned is to think out ahead of time what you are going to say to her next time. Then when she starts one of her tacky comments, you ignore it and go immediately to your comment. That can really throw her off her game. I have seen that technique actually permanantly shut people up. :)

sue said...

Welcome back to the wonderful world of office workers. Ugh. I can soooo feel for ya, Siz...

Kerry said...

oooh yeah! I love the idea. Jello shots would be awesome. Everyone will totally forget Kansas Girl and its all about Sizzle now...

(get grannylovingpaininmyass good!)

inky said...

I must say... your stories about this annoying one brings me back to my horrible time when I was the "new girl" replacing a beloved one who everyone just ooozed all over the place. I lasted 11 months before I quit and moved out of state but I recall my last day there... the main chick (who resembles your annoying one) came up to me and asked me why I was being so "cool" to her (as in not exactly mean but...) and I simply told her how I felt about her for the past 11 mos.... She stood there shocked as all can be and ran to the ladies room crying. I was shocked. But I stood my ground. Not really relating to you but once upon a time... I was like you and was always reminded daily that I wasn't like "who I replaced."

All in good time.