Tuesday, July 11, 2006

Make It A Good Day

It's 5:04. In the morning. I should definitely not be awake. Thanks to my cats who are being, in a word, assholes, I can't get back to sleep. Apparently this whole carpet thing is new to them having lived most of their lives in a hardwood floor home. Dash seems to think it a fun game to roll around from side to side plucking at the carpet with his claws. This is not such a fun game for me as it wakes me up in panic that he is doing irreversible damage to the brand spanking new carpet. Then he goes tearing about the house like a kitty on speed, chasing his demure sister until she cries out "Uncle!" or "Fuck Off" I am not entirely sure how to decipher kitty language yet.

He's such a little fucker.

Why must he be so damn cute 96% of the time and a total hellion in the wee hours of the morning?

For the greater part of yesterday, I was a total raging crankster. Nothing, and I mean nothing, could cheer me. I put the desk together and realized too late that I had put two essential front pieces on incorrectly. The mistake is so glaringly obvious it is all I can see when I look at the damn thing. Now, putting together a desk all by myself is no small feat in my book. I hate reading instructions and while I may have many talents, I don't list being handy among them. So I sweated and screwed. . .uh, wait- this sentence has turned naughty. What I mean to say is that once I had the desk together it was too late to undo the damage. There are these round screw thingies that you plug in that latch onto an interior screw. It's hard to describe. Try as I might, I couldn't get them out to pull the damn thing apart. I blame the Swedes.

This put me in a foul mood.

Then I flipped channels and ate some leftovers and stewed in my annoyance every time I looked at the desk. Then I wallowed in my joblessness. Then I got increasingly irritated at myself for not enjoying said joblessness. Then an Alpo commercial made me cry.

It was a really fun evening.

I pulled out my calendar and counted the days. Ohhhhhh. THAT'S why. Phew. I thought I was falling into a deep depressed stupor and we all know depression is really bad for the skin. The gray day didn't help to invigorate me either. Guess I better get used to that and make my own sunshine.

But not at 5:13 am.

Right now I am going back to bed, trusty squirt bottle at my bedside table. Today, I promise myself, will be a better day. Once I get more sleep.

21 comments:

Alison said...

You can fill in the color there with a Sharpie. Or emblazon them with funky stickers. Or glue a strip of ribbon. The possibilities are endless, and your desk will be, well, really yours.

sue said...

Yes, I'm with Alison - I'd be gettin' out the ol' magic marker and colorin' away. I love the desk, mistake and all!

The kitties? Weeeellll... in our house we've gotten to shutting them out of the bedroom at night. The only one who gets to stay in all night long is Wellington, the big male. He's pretty laid back and only gets spastic during the daytime when I don't have to see him do it.

If you are worried about the carpeting and don't want to have your kitties de-clawed, they have these plastic tips they can put on the kitty claws. I forget what they're called, but they protect stuff from getting scratched and don't hurt the kitty. I think vets put them on, perhaps. you might look into that.

...and last, but not least... you know enough to look at the calendar. I know many women who SHOULD, who don't. 'nuff said.

kapgar said...

It's called "declawing." You might want to try it.

Double B said...

YAH! Sharpie.

Anonymous said...

I just moved to a new apartment last week and my cats are still nuts. They also wake me up at wee hours of the morning acting like lunatics. They're still a bit freaked out. One of my cats won't stop howling and the other won't stop humping a stuffed animal. Cats are totally smart at being annoying and then turning on the cuteness meter when they know their life is super close to turning into a fur hat.

As for the Ikea desk...I put one together back in March and I had so many extra screws leftover. The desk looks and functions okay, but I"m waiting for it to fall apart because I had so many extra screws.

Good luck with everything. Not having a job really hurts the self esteem. You'll find one soon enough.
Jane

alissa said...

You definitely need a "Do Over"! Go back to bed and try again :)

Becky said...

My dogs wouldn't let me sleep when we first moved into my place for quite a while. Even now, I can't take naps b/c they react to anyone that walks by in the hallway (and only when I'm trying to sleep, of course). Hopefully, they'll calm down so you can get some more Zzzz's (or maybe drug them?).

JustRun said...

I'm glad you get to go back to bed and start over again. Adding lack of sleep to "monthly"... stuff is a recipe for disaster.

goldmoon said...

My cat (appropriately named Shitty) also runs around like a crazy thing at night. I'm sure they do it just to annoy us.

Brookelina said...

I was about to suggest a water gun, but you beat me to it with the squirt bottle. It works!

Andrea said...

my cat is totally on crack these past few days, so I can undersatnd..he seems to think sitting in the window above my bed and falling back onto my head is a fun game - at 3am

I sympathize...

:)

Lushy said...

I would also suggest a soda can with pennies in it. Shake it whenever they misbehave and it scares the bejeezus out of them. Soon, just the sight of the can will send them running.

Bre said...

I have no cat taming advice, only dog or bird taming and I'm sure those two are of no use to you at this point. But I can share your frustration with the swedes! oh the swedes! Most of my apartment is Ikea and it took forever and a day to decode the instructions. Lame.

Mrs. Ca said...

Hope you got back to sleep and the cats stopped being little shits. I almost cried at a commercial today and was thinking I was losing my mind, but then I realized the same thing you did. It feels good to know that it's not insanity - just hormones.

Mr_Rodacre said...

I hate that I DON'T have an excuse when I cry at Chase Credit Card commercials.

I'm just a sap...

Merideth said...

I've put together darn near every piece of furniture I have. And, I've missed pieces and put things on backwards.

Were these the type where you screw the post into the wood and the screw lock device (round, with an opening for the post you put in the other piece to fit, then you turn to the right to lock it in..)?

They CAN be undone. I know. I've undone so many pieces of furniture because I made a mistake.

BUT, you just have to have patience and be careful. But, you CAN undo and reverse that piece.

Of course, I don't know how far back that piece first went in (probably in the beginning since it's attached to the legs), but if you are patient and methodical you can undo everything and put it all back together.

Because no matter what, seeing as how that piece is in the front, there's no way you're going to hide the roughness of the wood compared to the smoothness that it's supposed to be.

UNLESS, and here's an idea, you could check out the local lumber yard and see if there's a piece of molding (like something ornate you would put near the ceilings), paint it black to match, and affix it to the front.

I've seen them do that on Trading Spaces a few times.

Well, good luck. It's a nice piece.

amy said...

Um. I have cats. So my pick is to kick them to the curb next time (a) they wake you up so damn early and (b) make your Berber carpet into 70s shag carpet.

Nihilistic said...

That's a great desk! Its a very YOU desk!

Bill said...

I recall many years ago, while standing on a chair and perhaps changing a light bulb, my mother looking up at me and saying, "My God! You're worse than your father!"

So I undertand the the frustration of home handyman stuff. There are so many things in my place that don;t work because I can't figure out how to fix them, it is almost laughable.

As for the cats ... these days Gonzo howls at roughly 5:00 in the morning as if she's being disembowelled and when I groggily rise from my sleep and say, "Gonzo?" she tears around the place as if she has a lit firecracker in her ass. So I understand that too.

Dog owners ... are dogs quieter at 5 in the morning? I may be looking at a trade in.

Margaret said...

The Swedes are evil and sadistic.

SJ said...

My cats experienced the opposite when we moved to Georgia. After a lifetime of carpet, they now live on hardwood floors with the occasional throw rug. They have discovered it's a kick to go tearing around the corner and then S-L-I-D-E the full length of the hall, using claws for traction. Lovely sound, especially at 4 a.m.