Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Intuitative Gambler

Finding a job and finding a mate are very similar. At least for me anyway. It goes like this:

I search and apply for all kinds of jobs. I get interviews. I do really well in interviews. I get offered jobs. I weigh the options. I trust my gut. If I don't feel that "spark" or the pros don't outweigh the cons, I pass.

This is like me with dating. I search and go on dates. I do really well on dates. Some men want to date me, exclusively. I weigh the options. I trust my gut. If I don't feel that "spark" or the pros don't outweigh the cons, I pass.

I always trust my gut. When I don't, I regret it. Each and every time.

There are perfectly great jobs and perfectly great men out there in the world, available to me if I wanted them. But not every great job or man is RIGHT for me. Lots of people are fine with taking whatever is offered. They get by. They even like it. I'm just not that kind of girl. I don't settle.

Is this why I am single and unemployed?

I was offered the first job I interviewed for but I passed on it. Many friends were saying "Take it!" but my gut said, "No." I would have been tied into a temporary gig for 2 months at very low pay doing work that I could do very easily. If a permanent, well paying job was offered to me while I was employed at that gig, I couldn't have, in good conscience, left. Safe, predictable verses risky and unknown. I gambled and turned it down. I am 98.9% sure I did the right thing.

So I keep searching, interviewing and waiting. And trusting that the RIGHT job is out there for me, that I am on my way to finding it (before my funds run out). I've got to, above all things, believe in myself. (That is probably why I have put dating on the back burner for so long.)

25 comments:

JustRun said...

Those searches are exhausting, for sure. I think the only time you don't feel like it's a gamble is after you're already in it. Not very reassuring I guess but, as we know, very worth the risk.

Amy S. Petrik said...

Hmmm. I kinda disagree. YOU are in a whole new different place that your comfort zone of Santa Cruz. Things are much different in Seattle. Or haven't you already figured that out? Are you expecting to find the same kind of power job you had before? Or what are you actually seeking. I would have taken the low paying gig. It's still money afterall and everyone needs money and I found during my temp gigs that it's an amazing place to network. You meet people who know someone who knows someone who is looking for the exact type of job you are seeking. Seems a bit crazy if you ask me.+

Scarlet Hip said...

It's always best to follow your gut. I'm way impressed.

Damn, it's a shame we don't live near each other. We are so alike.

Road Warrior said...

In my 41.675 years on this plane of existence, I've learned that once personal confidence hits critical mass, the rest of life falls into place. For some people, it's their job, for some, their romantic life. Mine was the job - once the confidence set in, it spread like a forest fire throughout the other aspects of my life. It was unstoppable. Girls who had turned me down for dates were all of the sudden in my life, wanting to...do stuff...with me (I've never dated anything other than exclusively - I don't know what else there is).

It sounds as if you could go either way. I hope you find that perfect job which will occupy you at least a third of your day in a positive way. The line of quality boys will grow overnight once they see you comfortable and composed in your new digs.

I personally think you belong somewhere as a writer - keep the words flowin'.

Anonymous said...

I think Kapgar hit on something -- your new job! Let your gut do the work! Set her up as a consultant/love coach.

Anonymous said...

It is good that you followed you gut instinct. So there shouldn't be any second guessing.

However, learning to settle or becoming pragmatic is not a bad thing either.

Rarely do we ever find the perfect job or the perfect mate, and even if we do, the timing might not be right. Good luck!

jeopardygirl said...

Sizz,

If you can afford not to settle, absolutely follow your gut instincts. They're there for a reason, and it shocks me how many people ignore them.

Claire said...

It's so refreshing to see someone else who refuses to settle while employing a bit of integrity to boot. So many people I know would take whatever gig they were offered and then quit as soon as they were offered a better one- I just can't do it.

Good luck with your hunt.

Margaret said...

I'm jealous of your gut, I think it might be smarter than me.

Anonymous said...

YOU GO GIRL!!!! and if the funds DO get tight, got to a temp agency until you gut says yes!

you are young, single, & w/o dependants - this may be the only time in your life it is safe to act this way, so do it!!!

YOU ROCK!

Nihilistic said...

I agree...I would have done the same thing!

Anonymous said...

You'll find real peace when the right job comes along. i wish you the very best!

Melissa said...

You will always do what is the very best for you, and that will always be the right thing. You're a level headed woman and you know when to hold on and when to let go. With men as well as work.

Girl From Ipanema said...

Maybe it's just your gut telling you that you're hungry? Just kidding! I'm very envious of those who can read the signs and just *know* which direction to go. It's a gift. Cherish it! Goodluck in your search, Sizz! :)

Anonymous said...

trust your intuition. no one can be a better judge of what's best for you, than you!

everything will fall into place at the right time!

Anonymous said...

...kinda sounds like ur a diva. ...kinda sounds like u really like yourself allot too. doesn't it ever get old thinking you are way too perfect?

Anonymous said...

I laughed at the "diva" comment -- SO you, Sizz. ;-)

I think you're absolutely right; gut instincts exist for a reason, and there's no reason to take a job you don't feel good about unless you're absolutely desperate for money. You'll know when enough's enough -- don't settle. Ever. Pragmatism is one thing...but settling? Well, I think people who settle wake up one day and realize they've done just that.

I don't think you're asking for perfection -- just what's perfect for you -- and these two things are NOT the same.

Bill said...

The only problem I've ever had with my gut is that, while it almost always knows what is wrong (jobs, etc.), it doesn't always recognize what is right.

That's the one caveat I would toss in there. Otherwise - total agreement.

Sizzle said...

i don't mind anonymous comments and i leave them up most of the time because everyone has a right to their opinion...

what i find humorous is that often the anonymous commenters are so off in their assessment about me that it just proves the opposite.

but i am a bit of a diva. though this post showed none of that side of me. :)

Mr. Rodacre said...

and to follow up on ridiculous anonymous commenter person: this person clearly has no idea who you are...

...also clearly lacks education...

sue said...

u rock.

Sorry, couldn't resist. *smirk*

If anyone has the right to trust their gut, it's you. Gotta love the Siz... you're one of a kind, sweetie. It'll all come together, trust me. :)

Gary said...

It is not so much your gut that I am impressed by as it is your head. I think you have a really good head on your shoulders.

Impossible Jane said...

I would have done the same thing. Job satisfaction is one of the keys to life. You spend 1/3rd of your life there. Good luck. I'm rootin' for you.
Jane

kris said...

I agree with you. I have ignored my gut instinct before and it usually is the smarter of the two of us in the end. :) Stick it out, both the right man and the ultimate job await.

Becky said...

That's too funny b/c I did a post when I was job searching with the Top 10 Ways Interviewing is like Dating (or something like that). I think you made a smart move. Whenever I've ignored my gut with any type of decision, I've always regretted it.