Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Shhhh (I guess)

Everything I want to say, I can't.

I want to vent about work but I have already been reprimanded about it. Even though I don't mention names. Or tell you where I work. Hell, you don't even know my real name. But once a good girl, always a good girl. Fucking Catholicism. Just this once I wish I was the motorcycle tough chick I long to be. She'd be kicking ass and riding off on her bike leaving a trail of dust and dropped jaws behind her.

I want to talk about relationships but a) it's too complex, b) opinions have already been formed, and c) I wouldn't know where to begin.

This is the first Christmas in, well, ever, that I haven't been 100% into the holiday cheer. I haven't felt like myself much these past few months. Glimmers here and there but overall, I've been consumed by stress and fatigue and bullshit. I am usually the one making gifts for everyone and baking cookies to hand out. This year, there are no gifts. I sent no handmade Christmas greetings. I only bought one gift for one person and if I told you who, you'd think I was whack. Did I just say "whack"? See what I am saying? I am just not myself.

16 comments:

Kilt Trip said...

I know exactly how you feel about relationships. Way complicated. I'm with you on the christmas thing too.

A very indifferent christmas to all.

Sizzle said...

EXACTLY rob v.

Lizzie said...

It seems there's a lot of bah-humbug going around. Some years it just ain't meant to be, I guess.

kathryn said...

What is going on this year??!! No matter what I do, I can't seem to feel Christmasy. Why? I've been asking myself all month.

I used to start listening to Christmas music on November 1. Decorations up the day after Thanksgiving.

Her Daddy's Eyes said...

Sizzle...I so know where you're at...as always. I haven't been into the Christmas spirit either. We need to go out for drinks and vent.
I'm working on that CD for you...maybe that'll get a smile on your face! I'm sending you a Christmas package!
Chin up, pretty girl!
*hugs*
~Eyes

alissa said...

Sizz, listen to some Christmas music. I raided my parent's cd collection last night and have been listening to Johnny Mathis, Frank Sinatra, Diana Krall and Perry Como all day, it has inspired me!

Now, I'm going to go cubicle to cubicle caroling.

Mr_Rodacre said...

Is Christmas coming? Damn. I better get some shopping done.

We got a tree at the house - haven't decorated it yet. The house has lights though...

I've tried listening to Christmas music too - but I'm not really feeling it either...

I should make a Christmas list. Maybe that will help... =)

Brookelina said...

I'm going to repeat what I said to Lushy. I'm hiding until the holidays are over. And men suck.

The Zombie Lama said...

Damn. Shit. That's whack.

Name that movie...

Paul said...

Sometimes a break is good. Screw sending holiday cards.

Just make sure you have a note on your front door that says, "No, I'm not dead."

Party on!

Melissa said...

Normally I'm the first one to vent with a bah humbug, but this year seems different. Maybe it's el nino.

Moonchild said...

tee hee hee.

I know your first name.
I know where you work.
Don't fret.
My lips are sealed.

start up a blog and vent all you want and don't tell anyone or go to this amazing site: http://notproud.com/ and confess all of your dirty work sins.

peace.

Nihilistic said...

You did just say whack! I haven't heard someone use the word whack since Whitney Houston proclaimed crack to be whack! Hmm...

Krisco said...

Yikes Ms. Sizz. I am sorry. And to not make you feel better (or maybe it will) I feel quite similar. And so do all your other readers! Hm! It is in the biosphere...the airwaves...the something or other....

Sorry you can't blog about work but we would so all like to hear it.

Even more so on the relationship thingy.

sue said...

Oh, sweetie... it is such a pain when you have to censor yourself. That's NO fun. Feel free to e-mail me and vent away...

I am having trouble getting into the season too, but don't know why. There is snow and all the kids are coming - I should be happy. Just too stressed at the moment, I guess. I'm taking off work next week and will try and get it all going then.

Hang in there... {{{hugs}}}

Mo-Pie said...

Happy Holiday's Sizzle... Hope your heart finds Christmas!

Love,

Mo