Sunday, December 04, 2005

Another Saturday Night...

The Dumpling and I, along with Rae Rae and her man Shawn went to see Hummingbird sing choral music last night in the Rec tal Hall (hey, that's what the sign said!). After having a minor fit of the giggles during the pre-performance lecture, I managed to settle in and pay attention except for the occassional glances I would steal at the woman's hair sitting in front of Dumpling. For most of the night, I thought she had a dead fly hanging in the midst of her blonde locks but upon closer inspection, discovered it was just a bit from a tree or something. I was kinda disappointed.

While waiting for Bird to come out after the performance, we hammed it up for some photos. Dumpling made his traditional face and I got to lay my head on Rae Rae's bosom (score!) while she tried on my new hat. We all made our way out for an after-show drink and ended up at Chocolate, a local cafe that has incredibly slow, disinterested service but really yummy hot chocolate (though the only thing Mexican about my Mexican hot chocolate (aka the Frida) was its name). After Rae Rae and Shawn took off for home, Bird, Dumpling and I sat finishing our cocoas and watching our breath form puffs in the air as we tried not to freeze under inadequate heat lamps. As is typical in a night out in Santa Cruz, a local nut job made his rounds on the downtown streets. By his outfit you would have thought him semi-normal: pants (not half-naked like some other nut jobs), a windbreaker and a baseball cap. But he was spewing nonsense that ran together into a long winded diatribe on sports, medicine, and his personal desires. It went a bit like this:

Nut Job: I got vaginal wart pills. Three blue ones. I got rosacea pills. I don't do white on white. I only do Oakland girls.

Bird (to us): You know what? I'm thinking that man is crazy.

Dumpling: (repeating Nut Job) "I got vaginal wart pills..."

Bird: You don't have a vagina.

Dumpling: Yes, but I have vaginal warts- go figure.

The hot chocolate kept me awake until almost 2:00 am though the occassional "closing of my eyes" and leaning on Dumpling don't count as actual "naps" for the record. We watched the Discovery Channel where we learned about the body's response during orgasm, then about the Humanzee (creepy!) and feral children (very sad and also, very disturbing). I went to bed and had weird dreams of talking to my ex who had turned into a chimp at a dog park where all the dogs were actually kids thinking they were dogs and all the while I was hooked up to a monitor because I was participating in orgasm research for the Kinsey Institute.

15 comments:

Bill said...

I haven't read your post yet, I've only scanned it noticing as I did:

- vaginal wart pills
- orgasm
- feral children

I'm very worried.

Nihilistic said...

Eclectic...I love it

Melissa said...

Uncle Melon's vagina page is hysterical.

sandra said...

I think you should monitor your stats closely for a few days...I think some people just might find you via some rather interesting searches. :)

Mrs. Ca said...

That sounds like so much more fun than any of my nights this past weekend. I was in bed by 10 pm every night. Although, my days were pretty exciting - lots of baking and the gaining of about 5 pounds from all the delicious cookies we made.

Lushy said...

Hypothetically speaking, where might one sign up for the orgasm study?

alissa said...

You're so diverse Sizz!

Brookelina said...

Yeah...I'm with Lushy ....

Moonchild said...

oh... something is strange with blogger. every single time i clicked on your highlighted word of the day... I was transformed to a website totally not relating to the word you had highlighted. very frustrating. i hope to god i never get vaginal warts. thanks for the insight just the same.

Kerry said...

are you kidding!? I was cracking up at some of the sites... esp the 'vagina' link. HAHAHAH good work!

Mr_Rodacre said...

You just had to use the "scary-muppet-face" picture? You told me you deleted it!

Her Daddy's Eyes said...

HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Sizzle! I adore you!

ocg said...

Sizz-

I must admit my eyes scanned immediately to the vaginal warts and thought, "Wow that Sizz just lets it all out, doesn't she".

Then I actually read to that portion... much more sense was made...

Sounds like you had a nice night...

;-)

OCG

The Zombieslayer said...

For most of the night, I thought she had a dead fly hanging in the midst of her blonde locks but upon closer inspection, discovered it was just a bit from a tree or something. I was kinda disappointed.

Heh. Funny.

As for Humaneeze, I've had an anthropology teacher who said it's probably been done in a lab somewhere before. We're too close for it not to work in a test tube, if not in the wild.

I've always been fascinated by feral children. I heard they're all retarded, because a wolf or gorilla can't possibly bring up a human correctly and those first few years are too crucial. But have to give props to the wolves who at least tried it. Amazing how an animal is willing to raise another animal of another species.

sue said...

Catching up... again...
What fun! You have some colorful characters out in your neck of the woods, doncha? ;)