Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Reasons for Living Alone

1) You can watch all the bad television you want without hearing about it from your TV-snob roommate. So what if you are watching a rerun of the Gilmore Girls for the third time?

2) If you stink up the bathroom, you don't have to search for deodorizer spray. Your pets don't care. Plus, if you don't have a male housemate, you don't have to deal with their razor hair being left in the sink.

3) You don't have to wonder if this will be the week they will do their chore without you telling them to. You don't want to be a nag or their mother but you certainly can live without the small clumps of pet hair, like little gerbils in the corner of the room. Ewww. And you won't have to explain why using Windex in leiu of Swiffer cleaner to mop the floor is a bad idea.

4) If you want to sit around in your underwear and eat Cheeze Its all day, you won't get a funny look that says, "You sure are lazy."

5) You won't have to watch your mouth and refrain from saying, "I have PMS. Don't fuck with me." cuz there won't be anyone around to annoy you.

6) If you want to bring someone home, you don't have to first warn them and then, try your best to keep it down. I hate keeping it down. Same goes for crying. You can let it wail.

7) You don't have to share your booze/dinner/ice cream/detergent/toothpaste.

8) If you've looked at porn or the personals, no one will know cuz it is your computer and you are the only one who uses it.

9) You won't have additional housemates (re: their significant other) that you didn't bargain for, particularly on days you don't feel like talking to anyone.

10) You don't have to defend your blogging hobby while comfortably sitting on your couch trying to enjoy a quiet evening at home.

23 comments:

Mo-Pie said...

Yeah, and you could play all the video games you want, all day, in between movie I mean.

I am guilty of the 'chore' thing. I need to try to do my 'chore' without being told. I am getting better.

I don't know what your talking about with this porn thing. You can find porn, online, using your computer?!

But the stinking up the bathroom thing stays, that's a trademark.

Neil said...

But now that you told us, we're gonna start bugging you about the hair in the sink. C'mon, Sizzle, why so lazy?

Anonymous said...

that's it, i am totally kicking my family out when i get home tonight.

- jules

Paul said...

There is nothing better than blogging at home, on your couch, eating cheeze-its and watching guilty pleasure TV.

Jenny said...

sometimes it's funny to read this stuff when i know the person/people who are being talked about...heh.

i hear ya, sizzle...that's why i live alone now.

at least the housemate is a nice person...

Sizzle said...

Just for the record, I love my housemate and not all of this relates to him. :)

Jenny said...

oh yes, sorry... i should have known... i'm recalling some old roomie stories... :)

whoorl said...

I quite enjoy using the phrase 'I have PMS. Don't fuck with me'.

By the way, I have PMS. Don't fuck with me. ;)

Meme said...

don't forget: dancing around in your chonies, or being as loud as you want whether you've brought someone home or not.

AJ Gentile said...

Wait.

You can TELL if I've been looking at porn??


:runs from room screaming:

Lushy said...

Beer. Couch. Underwear. TV. The perfect night alone.

Mr_Rodacre said...

You know you can also just go to the history section of your web browser and delete the porn webstites you have accessed so they don't show up again.

Not that I would know this of course.

Also - some good reasons for living with someone:

- always someone to watch your pet when you go on vacation.

- shared expenses on things like cable, internet, booze, detergent, ice cream

- computer access at home if you do not have a computer and your roommate does.

- good excuse to NOT have someone over to your house that you don't really want to come over in the first place.

- someone to answer the phone when you don't want to

- gives you an unlimited supply of blogging material

kim e said...

I have only lived with roomates once, and it didn't last long. There were five of us in the house, co-ed.

It wasn't pretty.

gorillabuns said...

wait i do all of these things and i have a husband and two kids. well, all except for the bringing home someone. i guess my husband wouldn't appreciate it.

living alone is something i do mourn at times. i truly miss not having to talk and sleeping late.

Krisco said...

Wait, so you all actually know each other? Or have I just stumbled upon some internet clique and you are just pretending? I was just off reading some of your-all sites, and now here you are commenting here! I am so confused...

And yes, I miss not having roommates sometimes too, of the optional variety. But as Mr Rodacre pointed out, there can be a lot of good things too - he forgot getting to watch their bad tv and blame the fact you saw it on them...

Bill said...

Addenda:

1 You won't have anyone leaving the TV on in a room where there is no one around to watch it, and no one around asking why you turned the TV off in the room where there was no one around to watch it.

2 No one's visiting brother will ask, "Why doesn't he like me?" (simply because you never speak to people who refuse to speak to you about anything except the inner workings of cars of which you know nothing).

3 There's no one around to tell you that you're washing the dishes in the incorrect order despite the fact the damn dishes are getting washed, aren't they?

4 You don't have to explain why, yes, you are listening to old pop music, jazz AND country music and you like them all.

Sorry ... was that too specific? I'm in a venting mood tonight, it seems. And I think I'm inflicting it on the world. Again, sorry!

kathryn said...

Uh-huh. Living alone is SO nice. I'm a fan of the oh so nasty 99 cent Totinos Pizza, but I never had the nerve to eat one in front of my roommate (extreme ridicule and all). OY!

Gilmore Girls! Check!

No surprise guests! Check!

I'm with ya!

Aimee said...

I've lived alone for years and I love it. Though I do fear that once the right guy comes along, I might have a rude awakening when I have to share and compromise a lot more often than I'm used to. All my friends say it's worth it and you just make it work, but I think I'm right to be at least a little concerned. Maybe going into it with my eyes wide open will make it less challenging. And hey, at least it'd mean I'm with a really great guy!

Sizzle, #9 on your list (porn and personals) reminded me that even when we think we're the only ones who look at our computers, it may not be true. The cable modem guy got quite an eyeful when he came to upgrade my system. Nothing too outrageous, but nothing I'd have offered to show him. (!) He was very polite while he was here, but I just wanted to die. Ugh...

Sizzle said...

whorl- yeah, i use that phrase regardless of housemate situation. ;)
meme- so true!
aj- ha ha ha
lushy- i knew we were kindred spirits. ;)
mr. rodacre- leave it to you to bring in sunny optimism!
kim e.- i have some of those stories too.
gorillabuns- sleeping in, it IS great.
kris- i know mr. rodacre and jenny from way back but the everyone else know and love from afar. ;)
bill- venting is appreciated here. vent away! :)
kathryn- yes, i forgot to mention the eating of potentially ridiculed foods. good one!
aimee- that does sound a bit embarassing. thanks for the tip!

sue said...

Fortunately, I've trained Hubby to the point where my "only child syndrome" is recognized and I have all those benefits of living alone - without living alone! ;)

Her Daddy's Eyes said...

Holy hell! Your room mate READ this???

~Eyes

Ikatron said...

You are such a sweet and kind person with a heart for you explainin'. Also thank you for adding my link to your page. I just added yours...why because you are so rad!

amy said...

I have lived alone since I was 23 years old. It's been heaven and hell but I love my privacy and everything that goes with it.