Tuesday, August 02, 2005

The Gender Wars

Can men and women really be friends? This question plagues me. Time and time again I have encountered the same situation. Girl meets boy. Girl and boy become friends. Cue sexual tension. Cue weirdness in friendship.

I don't think anyone will fight me on the fact that men and women are different. We just ARE. And it's not like I just read "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus." It's that whole When Harry Met Sally debate. Does the sex thing get in the way of men and women truly being friends? Does having a significant other make it easier to befriend a person of the opposite sex? And even if you are friends with someone you don't particularly find attractive, do you "pretty much want to nail them too?"

Argh! I am frustrated by this entire situation. I recently told a male friend that I just wanted our friendship to be just that: a friendship. We got drunk one night and fooled around. Stating the obvious: Being drunk gets me in trouble. We hung out a couple more times after that and it seemed he didn't much care for hanging out with me unless there was going to be some action involved. And I am not talking about race cars or Batman. I can't tell you how tired I am of battling that expectation. We got plastered. We made out. And now you are telling me you can't hang out with me, enjoying my company, without wanting to stick your tongue in my mouth?

Of course, when I tell said male friend that I don't think we should pursue anything and that I just want to be good friends he of course sets up his protection saying that I will have to keep in mind that he might not have time for me because he will be following other "pursuits." Nice. Way to brush me off. Way to save face. I get it. We aren't gonna hang out cuz I won't let you put your hand down my pants. Great. Isn't that just the way things go?

5 comments:

sue said...

If that's his attitude, then he's really not a friend. Just sayin' here... you know?

Sizzle said...

ya, i know. :(

slopmaster said...

Sorry, just browsing around at work, but I've wondered the same thing.

And you can.

But you ruin it if you make out with them.

Hence your story.

styro said...

Of course women and men can be friends---the man just has to be gay is all!

Charlie said...

Men are stupid, simple-minded creatures that usually have a hard time being platonic friends with a gal if there's been nooky in the past. This guy obviously wanted more than a friendship and when he realized he wasn't getting what he wanted, he decided it wasn't worth sticking around. I'm not apologizing for his lame behavior, I'm just trying to give you a dude's point of view.