Wednesday, July 20, 2005

I Don't Think So

Cleaning my emotional house last week sure did something. My truth keeps free flowing out of my mouth now that there is nothing to clog it up. For example: I waited 30 minutes for Mr. UPS to meet me for lunch last Friday as planned. He never showed. He didn't call. Upon returning to my office, I left him a voicemail on his cell and in the message I said, without really knowing I was going to say it, "I hope you don't call me again because I don't appreciate being stood up. Bye." And truthfully, I only feel about 3% bad about saying that. He is the one that was rude. No more multiple chance. Like I said, I am done with that bullshit.

Of course, within five minutes of leaving that message, he was miraculously able to call me. In his voicemail he didn't apologize but rather said he had been held up in court all morning in Monterey without access to his cell phone and maybe we could meet up another time. Uh, hello, what part of "don't call me again" do you not understand? And your explanation, sans apology, raises more questions than answers them. Court? Hmmm.

So then when I was home yesterday taking a (cough, cough) sick day, I heard the UPS truck pull up out front. Problem number one of being picked up by your neighborhood UPS driver- they know where you live. I went back to my room to fold clothes and as he knocked, then knocked again, I continued to fold. By asking you to not call, Mr. UPS, I was not giving you permission to show up at my doorstep. Hmph!

I was later recounting this tale to the Tomato. It went a little like this:

Sizzle: The UPS driver came to my door today. I successfully avoided him.
Tomato: How many fucking packages do y'all receive? (Yes, he used a Southern accent.)
Sizzle: He wasn't delivering a package.
Sizzle: He was delivering his own package.
Tomato: Oh boy.
Sizzle: And I said, Return To Sender.

I crack myself up sometimes.


kim e said...

The stand-up is unforgivable (even if he is cute and has thighs you want to bite into under those brown shorts).

Not even apologizing? Um, aren't they supposed to be on their best behaviour when they're new? Not a good sign.

Coming to your house? A little creepy and stalkerish.

Court? Red light. Google his name and see if any legal proceedings come up...

Bob Merrick said...

No. Seriously.

How many packages do you people receive at that house. Stop trying to mask over this by making us pay attention to the UPS driver. Are you a drug trafficker?

sue said...

I'm sorry... I kinda feel for the UPS guy. I mean, isn't this the first offense? Do you give up on the first one? Nobody gets a "do-over?". Are you holding this against him because the way you feel about somebody else? It does sound like he wants to at least try... maybe he was on jury duty? Maybe he was defending his right to double park. Oh, okay. Do what you want. I love ya anyway.

Sizzle said...

oh Tomato, funny, funny man. you know it's not drugs. are netflix and ebay considered drugs? ;)

maybe you are right sue. i might be a little bit on my high horse. if i run into him, i won't be mean. i promise. :)

kim e.- have you done this kind of thing before? hee hee. jk.

Neil said...

Nice reading about your life. Next time, try someone from Fed Ex. They are much more reliable.

Jenny said...

thank god there was no investment in knowing him. flake-oid.

kim e said...

Sue, lay down the bong and step back into reality. Women no longer need to be genteel and forgiving to a fault. It's 2005 and we don't owe them anything.

Sizz, eventhough I'm an old married/attached lady of 15 years (shush, I know I'm only 31), I've been there and done that - either on my own or vicariously through my friends calling me at 4 am to bitch about their men.

Remember, people only treat you as well as you teach/allow them to. If you accept assholism, they dish it out...if you expect nothing but gentlemanism, they have no choice but to oblige.

Sizzle said...

"assholism" is my new favorite term. hand's down.

thanks everyone for your perspectives.